The Haraam List

Because this led to great conversations on the old blog! (Copying verbatim from there. Just a reminder: I’ll be doing this with many blog posts from that older blog, k?)

haraam list

Errthing’s haraam, bruh.

P.S. Please be advised in advance that this is a satire. It’s intended to poke fun at some Muslims’ habit to make everything haraam. This is not a list of actual haraam things as Islam, the religion of God, deems them haraam. (Note, for example, that objectively haraam things like murder, adultery, etc. are not listed there. Does that clarify my point?)

I’ve compiled a list of all things I can remember that I’ve heard one Muslim or another (or islam-qa.com) saying is haraam. As with all other religions, if you put two Muslims in a room and ask them their views on Thing X, they’re both going to give you two different opinions. The following list is about that. I find it hilarious and amusing that in the comments, some people don’t get the point of this list at all and are taking certain things off the list to explain to me WHY they are haraam. Um, no, thanks.

Also, this isn’t poking fun at Islam; it’s poking fun at certain Muslims’ certain habit and obsession to declare everything haraam, especially the things we love most. I do not apologize for offending anyone with this.

So the following are lists of some of the things that are forbidden/ unacceptable/ punishable/ sinful according to at least one form of Islam (and there are as many forms of Islam as there are Muslims, who number about a billion). Some months ago, someone arrived on my blog looking for “list of things that are haraam in Islam,” which I thought was an excellent idea for a blog post. Millions thanks to that person! God reward you for such creative thinking!

Feel free to add more things. These lists are not comprehensive and never will be.

your face is haraam

Your face is haraam, bruh.

P.S. I love how the list for men is so much shorter than the list for women. I’m hurt.

P.P.S.  Just so y’all know, I’m not making these up and that these are real. I consider them problematic. As for finding “real” sources or whatever, not necessary because my intention isn’t for Muslims to be better Muslims or anything like that. That’s neither my job nor my interest. This is just for fun. Basically, it’s a response to every single time some Muslim tells me, “OMG – that’s haraaam, don’t you know?” Here’s your answer, losers.

Oh, and whatever you have doubts about, just google it up–or Islam-qa.com it, or go to MuslimMatters.org, and you’ll find it in an article or some comment there somewhere. So you’ll know that none of these are made up. Chances are, there’s some discussion on it already on some Muslim forum. OR just verify all of the following with “Islam-qa.com”! 🙂

For women and men:

Talking too much
Cursing
Praying behind a woman
Not removing hair from certain body parts at least every 40 days…or every Thursday or every Friday (depending on which hadiths make the most sense to you)
Talking to the “opposite” gender (except immediate family members), unless absolutely necessary
Being alone with the “opposite” gender (except immediate family members), unless absolutely necessary
Masturbating
Lusting after the “opposite” gender
Being homosexual (gay, lesbian)
Being neither woman nor man, being queer
Wearing the clothes of the “opposite” gender
Chatting/talking to/with the opposite gender on the Internet
Eating any non-zabeeha/halaal meat (including in the West)
Eating shrimp and most other sea foods
Playing music
Listening to music
Indulging in any musical activities
Being Sunni (according to the non-Sunnis)
Being Shi’ (according to the non-Shi’s)
Being Ismaili (according to the non-Ismailis)
Being Ahmadi (according to the non-Ahmadis)
Being Wahhabi (according to the non-Wahhabis)
[… you get the point]
Being Christian
Being Jewish
Being Hindu
Being Confucianist
[… you get the point]
Smoking
Getting tattoos
Putting a khaal (like the Afghans and some Middle Easterners do) on your forehead or anywhere on the face
Nationalism
Tribalism
Preferring your ethnicity to your religion (Islam)
Gossiping
Eating foods with gelatin
Eating with a spoon or fork (rather than with hands)
All forms of art
Taking photos, keeping photos in the home
Having a dog inside the home
Saying the word “khanzeer” (pig) [your prayers won’t be accepted for 40 days afterwards]
Watching TV (unless it’s some educational and Islamic program)
Doritos
Skittles
Starbursts
(And most probably your other favorite candies and chips – let’s pray to God that ferrero rocher isn’t among them, though)
Vitamins/multivitamins
Being vegan and/or vegetarian (especially if you’re a woman! Since you might upset your husband and in-laws)
Playing chess

For women only:

Not listening to or obeying your husband
Initiating a divorce for “small” reasons
Initiating a divorce. Period.
Not being grateful to your husband.
Not wanting to have children.
Marrying a non-Muslim man
Practicing polyandry (i.e., having more than one husband)
Having abortion
Wearing pants and shirts (because, DUH, these are male clothing)
Visiting your parents when your husband won’t let you–even if they are on their deathbeds
Leaving your house without your husband’s or father’s permission
Leading men in prayer
Interpreting/translating the Qur’an
Making your own decisions (when men obviously know better than you what’s good for you)
Getting married to someone without the permission of a father or another Muslim male guardian
Wearing tight clothes
Wearing the clothes (any clothes) or doing things (anything) that non-Muslims do (like dying your hair)
Wearing tight jeans
Wearing jeans. Period.
Wearing a see-through hijab
Wearing a hijab that men find beautiful
Being a flight attendant
Not covering your face
Not covering your hair
Showing your cleavage, arms, neck, legs
Showing your curves
Wearing high heels in public
Wearing anklets and other jewelry in public
Wearing nail polish
Wearing perfume
Singing publicly (that is, in front of men who’re not related to them)
Reciting the Qur’an publicly and beautifully for the public (the way men can and do)
Plucking/trimming/shaping your eyebrows
Not being well-groomed for your husband
Not being well-groomed. Period.
Wearing jeans
Wearing dresses
Wearing skirts
[…what’re we supposed to wear, right?]
Opening/owning a bar

For men only:

Shaving your beard
Not praying at the mosque when you can (especially the Friday prayer)
Praying with your hems below your knee
Praying behind a woman
Wearing a tie
Wearing red, yellow, blue, and other “bright” colors, since those are feminine colors
Wearing jewelry other than wedding rings
Wearing silk
Not trimming your beard
Shaving with an electric shaver
Going to a barber
Spiking your hair
Wearing deep v-necks
Groom your chest hair
Wearing cologne
Not wearing cologne

Things permitted to man but forbidden to woman:

Leading both women and men in prayer
Having more than one spouse
Initiating a divorce by simply saying talaaq (“I divorce you” in Arabic) three times, no matter how small the reason
Marrying a Christian or a Jewish person
Leaving your house without the permission of your partner or father
Getting married without the permission of your (Muslim) father or any other male Muslim figure, like an Imam (community leader)
Reciting the Qur’an beautifully and melodiously (because men might get attracted to her voice)

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About Orbala

I want it to rain on my wedding day, pliss.
This entry was posted in being human, forbidden things, funny, gender, Islam, Just stop, Religion, society, your face is haraam and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

156 Responses to The Haraam List

  1. Silai says:

    This list is pure gold! ❤

    But playing chess?????? Seriously? For some reason that one shocked me the most! :O

    I feel for Allah Swt…… Our creator wanted to make things easy on us but Lol look at where we have ended up hahahah! Alhamdulilah at least humor is not haram! or is it??????? oooooooohhhhhh watch out now 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • orbala says:

      LOL. Thanks for your comment, Silai jaani!

      YES! Playing chess is considered haraam by so many Muslims and Muslim authorities! The (il)logic is that it distracts us from God and our obligations towards God. As does music, the internet, and everything else humans enjoy – and therefore, all these things (especially music) are haraam, too. Internet, I’m not so sure since … lol good luck to them for banning that on us Islamically.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Ahmed says:

      it seems like you have no idea how rulings are derived in islamic law, on top of that you have the audicity to mock the deen, which btw is an act of kufr for which there is no excuse of ignorance ‘’Say, “Is it Allah and His verses and His Messenger that you were mocking?” Make no excuse; you have disbelieved after your belief ’’ (SurahTawbah Verse 65 – 66). Idk if you consider yourself a muslim, but if you do you should fear Allah and repent. I am sorry to burst your bubble here but what is halal and haraam is derived from the Quran and the Sunnah( including those sources which are derived from them such the Ijmaa’ etc) NOT your desires, nor mine nor any other human beings. we as layman although cannot for the most part derive rulings, one needs to have a firm understanding of islamic studies to do so, i encourage you to study more about the deen…

      Liked by 1 person

    • orbala says:

      Congratulations, brother! You just humiliated yourself. Everyone with even an iota of ability to read is embarrassed for you. It’s ok – I won’t let anyone know. But, hey, P.S. Most of your statements are false – sorry to burst yours.

      Like

    • Khalida says:

      My son plays chess at school and the madressa teacher felt he needed punishment, needless to say the kid refused to go back !

      Liked by 1 person

    • orbala says:

      Yes! I’ve heard about that so often! It’s tragic!

      Like

    • fida says:

      Lol i hope humour aint haraam. 😅

      Like

    • Theo Pious says:

      of course humour is haram! its really a simple rule to follow to know what’s haram – if you like it, its haram!

      oh, and just in case……..

      [The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Do not laugh too much, for laughing too much deadens the heart.” (Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7312) ]

      Like

    • orbala says:

      Oh, yes, how could I have forgotten “laughing too much”?

      Like

    • Silai says:

      Asalam Aleikum brother 🙂

      Is this a real Hadith or just your cool dose of sarcasm? 😉

      Like

    • orbala says:

      I’ll wait for him to answer (it’s prolly a mix of both), but I grew up being told by Qur’an teachers that laughing unnecessarily is haraam in Islam, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s one of those unauthentic hadiths that just further supports the idea that hadiths shouldn’t be taken at face valuen

      Liked by 1 person

    • leena says:

      Oh, It is a real thing but I thing the targeted laughs are the ones with no reason!

      Like

    • nona says:

      hahhahahha lol though I don’t understand smoking coz its not haram its makruh that mean its not haram but its harmful
      so yeah im not saying the list Is wrong its just some of them are wrong well anyway bye :1

      Like

  2. Narie says:

    This list is hilarious. However, it is not as hilarious as your lack of knowledge on “Haram Things” in Islam. It’s people like you who make others dislike Islam and get others to gain amusement from it. In your comment you suggested that this was not your intention, what a load of crap! The internet sure gave you a great way to cyber bully. “Lol good luck to them anning that on us Islamically.” Sweetheart, you don’t even follow Islam, so why is this list even relevant to you?You should be ashamed of putting religions on the spot in a negative light. Where is your list of “Sinful Things” in Christianity or Judaism? Hypocrite.

    Like

    • orbala says:

      Dear Narie,
      Thank you for reading and responding. I appreciate your input.
      However, while I don’t understand and I certainly don’t appreciate your need for a hateful response, I sense from your comment that you actually didn’t read the post above at all. If you click the link to the original post (on my old blog), you’ll see that there are over a hundred comments just like yours, some of which I actually had the energy and chance to reply to assure them that this isn’t a mockery of anyone or anything. If you choose not to read it that way, that’s fine – but don’t make any accusations (that’s haraam in Islam! For real. No sarcasm this time). Here’s a link to all the comments – just scroll below. The List of Haraam Things with Angry Comments from Annoyed, Angry, and Unhappy Readers Like Narie Jaan

      That said, I’m a Muslim, and I speak from my experiences (and my knowledge) on my blog. If you don’t like what I’ve to say–because I’m not stopping even if you or anyone else put a gun to my head–I highly encourage you to open up a blog to educate people your own way and to speak the truth as you understand it and fight falsehood in a way you’re comfortable doing so. I’d be happy to read your blog and support and whatnot!

      Also, I chuckled when you said, “Sweetheart, you don’t even follow Islam, so why is this relevant to you? ” 🙂 For many reasons: 1) you don’t know ANYTHING about how or if I practice Islam, so your accusation right there wouldn’t be going well with God–but I forgive you; you probably thought you were doing God and Islam a favor by attacking the level of faith of a random blogger you don’t know anything about as a human. 2) I write about many things that are and are not relevant to me, so your question is irrelevant; I write about whatever I feel like writing about, and my will to do so is never going away, jaan.

      Lastly, I’m simply not interested in writing a list of “sinful things” in Christianity or any other religion because, well, that’s not my place to do so; I’m a Muslim. If that bothers you, that’s frankly not at all my problem.

      I wish you peace in dealing with differences and diversity and especially with those who anger you! Aameen.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Zainab says:

      Salam Orbala jaan
      it seems like you do no know the difference between mockery and claiming whats the truth in your opinion, all these comments you seem to be categorizing as hate comments aren’t actually hate comments, their just being polite and trying to enlighten your lack of knowledge in the religion you claim to practice. Without even reading much my first thought was this post is from a non muslim just trying to defame islam, but sadly it turns out your a muslim lol, i mean YOU DO NOT MAKE SENSE. Like idk how to put it to you, please re read your comments and Narie jaans comments because you to almost pretty much every one else including me sound like a disheartened fool 🙂

      Like

    • orbala says:

      Thank you for your comment, Zainab. No, I don’t think anyone here is being hateful – I think people are really just not thinking the way the post requires. I appreciate your insight, and I disagree respectfully.
      Best wishes to you,

      Like

  3. Tom says:

    Aren’t piercings also haram for men due to them being considered feminine? Atleast I’ve heard so.

    Like

  4. Banin Al-Shimari says:

    This list is absurd. I agree with some because some say it in the Qur’an but the majority of this list is just funny. Your totally making the rest up. How about you read the Qur’an once more and fix this list.

    Like

    • orbala says:

      Thanks so much for reading, Banin! Please see my comment above addressed to Narie. It applies to you as well – and to anyone else who thinks even some of the above list is “Islamic.”

      Like

  5. Ahsan says:

    Sahih Muslim, Bk 1, Number 0142:

    It is narrated on the authority of ‘Abdullah b. Umar that
    the Messenger of Allah said: O womenfolk, you should give charity and ask much forgiveness for I saw you in bulk amongst the dwellers of Hell.
    A wise lady among them said: Why is it, Messenger of Allah, that our folk is in bulk in Hell?
    Upon this the Holy Prophet said: You “curse” too much and are “ungrateful” to your “spouses”.

    P.S.
    This is just one example that would suffice, if you need more, I got plenty.

    P.P.S
    Most of the things in your list are really haraam and others are ridiculously made-up. Don’t mock all Haram things just because you don’t know they really are haraam.

    Like

    • orbala says:

      I’m SO glad to have you around to remind us that women are men’s servants and wives are required to be grateful to their husbands! That’s one less sin I have to show people “proof” of, whew! Thank God for you.

      Like

    • Ahsan says:

      Is that how you interpret this Hadith that women are men’s servants ? You surely do need to have some positive education to banish all the negative and misleading thoughts and fears that you have in your mind regarding haram things – the actual haram things.

      Like

  6. Asjad Khan says:

    Wearing cologne and not wearing cologne? ??
    What do you mean and what are the reasons for the following –
    Wearing a tie
    shaving with an electric razor
    spiking your hair (maybe because it looks gay)and
    Wearing deep v- neck

    Like

    • orbala says:

      It looks like you didn’t get the point of the post, Asjad Khan! 🙂 I’d suggest reading the Introduction to the post, and if that still doesn’t give you an idea, click the link that directs you to the comments (similar to yours) on the older blog, and that should help plenty.

      Happy New Year to you and your loved ones!

      Like

  7. Dr Amit says:

    It is very funny for sure……pls be careful dear

    Like

  8. Nela Halipa says:

    I have question if you are visiting the house of your fiance is it haram or halal if you re a girl.

    Like

  9. Mohammed Ahmed says:

    Just curious. Why is Wearing red, yellow, blue, and other “bright” colors are haram? I know you said its because these are feminine color but I am still confused because these are Just colors.

    Like

    • orbala says:

      … Be advised that this list is not from Islam or God; it’s intended to point to the stupidity of the haraam police. So I dont know how to justify the haraamness of bright colors for men – feel free to google it, and Islam-qa.com probably has an explanation (a dumb one, as always).

      Liked by 1 person

  10. freethinker says:

    There is no list of forbidden stuff in Christianity unlike Islam. Ever thought your religion is holding you back? (And I’m not Christian by the way).
    You can’t do this, you can’t do that – why don’t you say get stuffed and go and be free ? This weight of community pressure is so limiting, no wonder Muslim societies are so repressive. You need to make freedom, not repression, a virtue.

    Like

    • orbala says:

      Nope – never felt like it’s holding me back at all. And, actually, Christianity is like that – but over time, many Christians have largely chosen not to follow those lists of forbidden things.

      Like

  11. Jaz says:

    People plz read the intro of this post, before commenting , it will save time

    Like

  12. Zack Spice says:

    Being a Pashtun first and muslim second is haram too..

    and what about those Pakistani Pashtuns, if they call themselves Pakistani after being muslim first, then where does being Pashtun come along???? Lemme guess

    A Typical argument :
    Afg Pashtun:”What do you call yourself first , Pashtun or Pakistani:?”
    Paki Pashtun: “I am muslim first, and Pakistani second. Pashtun never comes, that’s why i am Pashtun last….”
    Afg Pashtun:(sais a bunch of swear words, and his eyes are bawling)
    Paki Pashtun:”You are a spay, get a life bro, I am not Afghan whatsoever, and focus on religion, stop dividing people based on their ethnicity, it’s haram. it’s called Assabiyyah”.
    Afg Pashtun:”You know what?! I’m leaving Islam and becoming Atheist. I am now JUST Pashtun and i will not say Aslam walikum because it’s an Arabic term. I hate Arabs, i hate Pakistan and i hate all these things that steal my identiy etc. I am JUST Pashtun, forget Islam, Christanity, or anything, you got that! ”
    Paki Pashtun:”If you say leave Islam to preserve your pashtun culture…then Allah will never forgive you”
    Afg Pashtun:”I am marrying only a Pashtun. Any Pashtun i know that marries outside their culture, i won’t talk to them !, this Allah or Khuda you talk about, he literally does not exist. If Islam was true, why are there so many non-muslims in the world etc. etc., who were born into a non-muslim family, they didn’t have a choice! ” ……
    Paki Pashtun:”There are ways to go around such things”
    Afg Pashtun:”Pakistan sucks”
    Paki Pashtun:”Pakistan was made for muslims to seperate from Hindus”
    Afg Pashtun:”Your ancestors were Hindu!”
    Paki Pashtun:”No, that’s the ancestors of Punjabi people. Pashtun people were not hindu, we were a seperate people that time”…..

    Ionno , forget islam, islam is a failure. I now only call myself Pashtun. Look at how successful turkey has become for becoming secular. Islam has brought no progress. Iran sucks. Pakistan sucks and so does AFG, because Islam is a fail (or is the Durrand line a fail, ionno, !)

    Like

    • orbala says:

      This is a sick comment. Don’t ever allow yourself to waste my time like this again, k?
      Now go spew your intolerance and bigotry where it can be appreciated. It’s certainly not acceptable here in my territory where I aim to promote peace and justice for all.

      Like

  13. VoltTackle... says:

    You forgot to include drawing pictures of people and animals being haram.

    actually, that’s an ambigious subject, ever since i was young, i used to draw pictures of random thigns but when it came to people and animals, it would feel uneasy because there’s a stigma in islamic society about making artwork of living things…

    i don’t know but like… in Islamic art, alot of it tends to exclude living animals or people. So basically, drawing cartoons, comic book characters and all that would be considered Haram :/…..

    because

    1. There’s some islamic saying where you Artists are asked to give their creation’s life.
    2. VIsual art of people or animals is feared as it may lead to Idolatry… why in islamic history, alot of artwork excludes peoples and animals….

    I’m talking about Visual art.

    but is it Haram to make fictional characters even you only write/speak everything about them instead of drawing them visually? Is fiction haram ! ????

    Like

  14. Actual Anonymous says:

    don’t forget

    women:
    – doubting your husband
    – leaving your husband’s bed even if he pushes u off
    – playing with dolls
    – expressing yourself
    – talking about sex
    – having sexual desires (gasp how could they?!)
    – not keeping your virginity (doesnt matter if you married before and your husband is gone, still haram haram)
    – saying no to your husband

    this post made my day

    Like

  15. HISHAM says:

    You clearly did not read the post above, so your comment is not being accepted. Please feel free to speak after you have actually read the stuff you think you can have an opinion on.
    – Admin

    Like

  16. Eman says:

    I don’t understand why everyone is soo stupid they don’t even read the intro but look at the title and run down to the comments box . Guys, it is for FUN don’t stress over it. And even though im muslim some of this is actually funny! ♥♥

    Like

  17. Vintage says:

    This is actually hilarious….hilarious, stupid, cheeky, thought provoking and just witty. It goes to show sometimes we need to focus on the IMPORTANT things in Islam. People forget that God is a forgiving God and does not wish to burden us with difficulty but hell I wouldn’t be surprised if someone said ‘breathing air is haram’ because its imitating the kuffirs. smh. People take things too seriously, like why were we even created in the first place?

    This list opened my eyes to the fact that as long as we worship God in the prescribed way, live our lived being happy and doing good, Allah (swt) inshaallah may have mercy over us on our downfalls. Some of these hadiths may be correct or incorrect, who knows but subhanallah I’m sure God wants us to enjoy this life and appreciate this gift. Also Its important to understand the context of what the prophet meant which is sometimes not clear in the hadiths so people take it literally in every case.

    Why are people getting annoyed? Is the hadith a lie?

    Like

  18. Afra says:

    Eating shrimp???? since when that’s haram!!

    Like

    • orbala says:

      Hi there. Would you have a moment, do you think, to read the introduction?
      I’m seriously concerned that you found a problem with the haraamness of shrimp and not the other points . . .

      Like

  19. According to Hanafis and Hanafi fiqh, eating shrimps is haram. I love, them though, and since I ain’t no Hanafi, I eat them whenever I can. 🙂

    And yes, some people like to call just about anything haram. What a negative & sad hobby. :/

    Like

    • orbala says:

      I love shrimp!! That’s actually one of the fewest seafoods I like! And I’m Hanafi, so… or s’pose to be, according to the geography of the schools. Then again, I don’t accept *all* of Hanafi thought, although if I had to choose my favorite school with the least misogyny in it, it’d be prolly be Hanafi.

      Liked by 1 person

    • rosalindawijks says:

      I, too, used to like the Hanafi school the most. Then I read in Ayescha Chaudhrys book that Hanafis allowed marital rape. (I’ll look that up and post the exact source inshallah)

      Like

    • orbala says:

      OH YES!! Sadly, no one back then (Muslim or otherwise) believed that marital rape was even a thing, so we’re going to have a terrible luck trying to find a Muslim scholar or school that did hold this thinking. In my own state, marital rape didn’t become illegal until September 1994! 1984 in New York, I believe.
      It’s scary. It’s offensive. And it’s heartbreaking. That our husbands legally and Islamically have the right to rape us if they want. And while our leaders have NO problem getting rid of certain ideas and practices that the Qur’an acknowledges (like slavery), many others (like wife-beating, marital rape, etc.) are not open to discussion because “we can’t change Islam to suit modern expectations!” Uh… you just did for slavery…?….

      Like

    • Zainab says:

      btw in islam ur not supposed to have these sectors, hanafis etc uno

      Like

    • orbala says:

      I know ❤ I believe in an ideal world as well.

      Like

  20. i7956074 says:

    Apologies for a nameless username (prt uni account)
    Great blog. Great post. Comment is directed to everyone here not just you Orbala. Will PM you later about a different topic. But taking into consideration the comments posted here & some others I faced in person by ppl asking me the same old stuff….

    Lets break it down:

    – Men & women are EQUAL (women are NOT oppressed)
    – Our religions came in order & Islam is the conclusion – this means read all the books to see how the Quran “fits” the pic in line with our shared prophets
    – Islam has no race no blood no culture & no language…. HAJJ is the best example of this (ive been)
    – Pray in a language you know & understand so that you may educate your peers rather than read something you cannot comprehend
    – Islam was spread by music in some areas my personal view it is NOT haraam
    – Theres no max or min in Islam, do what you can (everyone has issues) as long as its just & not counteracted by a sin. (Quality not quantity) eg 5 times prayer & then a sin from your list? doesnt make sense! Be practical you know what you can & cant do!
    – Its an easy religion but polluted by the people who have an Arabic or Asian sounding name claiming to be Muslim because they were born into a “muslim household” when actually they haven’t a clue because theyve been brainwashed either by US/UK troops raising fragile pps into thinking & doing wrong aka terrorism or by the rooted culture (kufr period aka pagans)
    – Arab Muslims hate or think less of non-arab Muslims because they are not the “people of the book” false thinking.. theres no culture or language. We are all people of God & to him we submit.
    – Haraam means clean, pure, legal & ethical…
    “I have savings with interest” = Haraam
    “I went to a restaurant which had poor hygiene but offered Halal food” = Haraam
    “I instruct Ribba on you because you have failed your payments” = Haraam
    “Gelatine medicine?” = Halal
    “Alcohol in food eg Vinger?” = Halal
    “This restaurant has alcohol & halal food” = Google HFA vs HMC then make your personal choice God knows best!
    – Theres lots of books written or them idiot mullahs, scholars on TV thinking the know the religion they dont! So if your a Muslim, where do you get proper advice on topics such as halal/haraam? who do you ask? Best way is to go to your local mosque & ask the Imam face to face (cross ref with Quran)

    A great read (& laugh) anyway! those commentors with strict views need to detox their brains

    And ppl remember we live in 2015 not at the times of our prophets (just pointing the obvious for the some who take everything so literally in hadith)

    Kaiden

    Like

  21. user-name says:

    some of these are not haram but rather not recommended like laughing to much which is not haram

    Like

  22. jenifer says:

    i dont think most of them are haram wrong list….

    Like

  23. Sheikh Hassan says:

    Sorry, but I am an Imam and my daughter showed me this post. Most of the things on this list aren’t haram. Below is the permitted things .
    Eating shrimp and most other seafoods.
    Wearing jewelry is fine
    High heels also fine
    You can choose when you want to when you wear hijab
    Skittles is made with beef gelatin since 2010 also starbursts and doritos are ok as well
    Laughing (I do not know were you got that from ) is permitted
    Singing in public as long as it is a nasheed or Islamic
    Electrical shaving
    Going to the barber
    Wearing ties I wear them sometimes
    Bright colors
    Eating with a spoon or fork is the most craziest thing on your list
    Taking photos
    Art
    Talking to much
    Wearing a pretty hijab
    Spiking your hair FINE wearing cologne
    Not wearing cologne

    I’d love to go on but I have no time right now .I am sorry to say, but 35% of this list is right . AND PLEASE do not reply in your sarcastic way of yours .It is disrespectful and rude, and each time you do , you get a sin. Goodbye and thank you for your time and try . And whoever gave you most of this list is a completely wrong misguided Muslim.

    Like

    • orbala says:

      This is why it’s important to actually *read* 🙂 Thank you for your opinion, Sheikh! And for visiting – even if you opted not to read the post.

      Also, your response actually reiterates my point about differences of opinion on what’s Haraam and what’s not. Thank you for that, too.

      God guide us all, aameen.

      Like

  24. Fatima says:

    Wearing pants and shirts are haram that’s funny I mean a lot of Muslim women wear long dresses but shirts really? That’s ridiculous

    Like

  25. Lez says:

    Great post Orbala, I’m not religious at all but do respect people’s beliefs, I can give you another to add to your list, maybe you’ve seen this recently. In Iran, or maybe Iraq, sorry I’ve forgotten which, it is forbidden for men to have spikey hair, apparently its degenerate. Would love to see where that’s written in the Quran.

    Like

    • orbala says:

      God, it’s SO wonderful to see someone actually getting the point of the post!!! Thank you for your addition – it’s Iran, I remember! And V-shaped shirts for men in Malaysia LOL! (Because it means they’re gay, apparently, and being gay is haram.)

      Like

  26. TrueMuslim says:

    Assalamualaikum! First of all this website looks very amazing for me, but is it really important for women to cover there face? What about light makeup? And why perfume? Right now I am a beginner teenage, so is it important to wear abayya? Plus it’s really ridiculous because there are some foods in which we need to use a spoon/fork, but how can that be haraam? And when I go to school, according to the school uniform, it’s a full sleeves shirt and a skirt (full). So is that haraam too? And we do use gelatin to make some foods. Is that haraam?

    P.S
    Sorry for asking lots of questions, but I hope it surely does help me in *someway*…
    Thanks
    Salaam!!

    Like

  27. TrueMuslim says:

    Yes I did. But the thing is that I did not find the answer to my question in any comment or article in that website which you gave in the introduction.
    Thanks…

    Like

  28. Ihidefrompeople says:

    Im both muslim and Christian, i read this for the humor, funnest thing was the spartan guy with ” everything is haram” lol. Then agian the picture is haram. Btw I practise islam, not chritianity very much besides going to church sunday sometimes, becuase my sister and mother wont otherwise, and when I read the bible I find it points to islam in many ways. Made a deal with my sister if i go to church, she would come with me to the mosque to learn a bit ( pray she loves it please ). Overall id just like to add this 1:1 in the name of allah,most gracious, most merciful. Also 1:3 most gracious, most merciful, notice what he did there? He didnt need to repeat that litrally two lines down.
    No matter how good you are, or how much you praise the perfect one, you fall short. Its his mercy that lands you in heaven. In other words if he was a fair judge we would all be in hell no matter what. So lets glorify The one God. Not complain about the knowlege he provides us if we desire his favor. Btw i feel Allah is Gods greatest name. Please dont trash me 😢 i just want to glorify God, and i never comment on anything, prettysure thats why i commented. Alhumdulillah!

    Like

    • orbala says:

      Thank you for your comment. No one gets trashed in this feminist Muslim territory (unless you’re a misogynist, classist, and otherwise an oppressive individual), so worry not! Worship as you deem best 🙂

      Like

  29. TrueMuslim says:

    And which point did I miss???

    Like

    • orbala says:

      The whole point. If you came here to verify if thing X is haraam for real, you missed the point. You should read the comments above (my replies to them) and the introduction to the post above.

      Like

  30. TrueMuslim says:

    Well then, didn’t you say this? “Feel free to add more things. These lists are not comprehensive and never will be.” So I want to make sure if they are haraam or not. By the way, it is also said that “It’s not for Muslims to declare things haraam, only Allah can do that.” Also “So the following are lists of some of the things that are forbidden/ unacceptable/ punishable/ sinful according to at least one form of Islam.”
    My dear, I’ve read everything. TELL ME WHICH POINT HAVE I MISSED!! 😦 I read all the comments, things and all posts! And yeah, I don’t think that most of the things on the list are right. Some don’t make sense… Are they all right? Any proof?

    Thanks!

    Like

    • orbala says:

      The point that this is satire. Not real. I can’t tell you what’s haraam/halaal in “Islam” but I can def tell you what “Muslims” say.

      Like

  31. TrueMuslim says:

    Assalamualaikum Muslim brothers and sisters. Wishing all of you a very happy Ramadan Kareem. Don’t forget to say:
    “Inna allaha wa inna ilaihirrajioon, allaumma ajjarni fi musibati wa akhrijna li khairan minha.”
    إنّأ ألله و إنّا إليهِ الرّاجِعون أللهمَّ أجرني في مصيبتي و أخرِجنا لي خيرًا منّها
    This duaa’ is really useful, if you are worried, having any trouble, want Allah the Almighty to forgive you, asking forgiveness, did anything wrong, did something haraam (by mistake) must say this duaa’ and InshaAllah, Allah will fulfill your forgiveness. Also, during this month of Ramadan, try your very best to do all things which are halal. Believe me, if you do that, the ajr is yours!
    –Iqra

    Like

    • orbala says:

      W/s, Iqra jaan 🙂 Ramadhan Mubarak to you and your loved ones as well! God be your source of light throughout it all, aameen!
      Thank you for the reminder and for sharing!

      Like

  32. Sara says:

    This is so sexist and stupid! We womans are threaten like shit in slam! And How the fuck is skittles Haraam! In those times skittles or candy wasnt even created so how the fuck they now it haraam? And internet. There was no internet at those times and in the quran it doesnt say it so why the fuck is haraam! This is bullshit. Wearing perfume do you seriously want me to smell like shit? Fuck you and fuck your list it doesnt even make sense! Do you think in those times those things really exist? NO THEY DIDNT, AND GOD NEVER SAID THEY WERE HARAAM! WHY IN THE QURAN IT SAYS JEANS ARE HARAAM WHEN THERE WERE NO JEANS THIS IS ALL LIES AND BULLSHIT!

    Like

    • orbala says:

      Dear Sara,
      Thank you for your response. I’m glad you felt safe enough to express your honest thoughts here on the above subject.
      Ramadhan Mubarak! I pray you and your family have a beautiful month, aameen!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Iman says:

      This list is disgusting. Everything is haram. No thank you. Im out.

      Like

    • Aaqib says:

      Assalamu Alaikum,
      Sara, first of all, if you read the intro, you will see that this isn’t real, well not all of it. More than 60% is not from the Quran but stated by other Muslims/associations. Also, what you just did is very haram; the anger you showed was very inappropriate and the words you used (especially during Ramadan) so I hope you can find it in yourself to realise what you have said and done.
      But I do find it quite disrespectful that you (orbala) have made a false list of what is haram and what isn’t, the reason why I think this is that it can mislead other Muslims who know less and it can affect them. Also, it can be seen as mocking the Quran and what it states. However, I am contradicting myself as this is, as you say, a list of things said to be haram by not just the Quran but mostly other Muslims, so you may just be listing that. I don’t know whether you are lying or not, but it doesn’t matter.
      To conclude, I personally think this list is unnecessary in the sense of haram things stated by Muslims/groups, however, a list of haram things which are stated in the Quran would have been more informative and much less misleading. But as you said, this just for “fun” so you may do as you wish, I would just recommend not making this at all for the benefit of others who may be misguided by it. But thank you for this list as it has helped me in some ways.
      Jazakallahu khair

      Like

    • orbala says:

      You’re correct that you’re contradicting yourself, as I’ve explicitly stated repeatedly that this is a list according to what different Muslims say is haraam. It’s unfortunate that ppl aren’t reading properly and not understanding my point. If anyone comes here looking for actual knowledge and Islam and concludes that “oh shit, all these things are haraam,” then quite frankly, there’s a bigger problem than this list that they have to face.

      Like

  33. Halima says:

    Hello,

    After reading this I did so many things that are haraam.
    I don’t even know if I’m a Muslim anymore because I still will do everything I did before. its my life and no one can say what I should or should not do.

    I do believe in God/Allah but that’s it no rules. And I’m not gonna pray 5 times a day. That’s a waste of my time.
    Bye.

    Like

    • orbala says:

      Ramadhan Mubarak, Halima!
      Please be advised that I’m not an Islamic legal scholar and am uncomfortable telling you what’s haraam and what’s not (though I do have my opinions on these things).
      This list is not an actual list of haraam things according to Islam, Islam as the religion of God. The list is making fun of some Muslims’ obsession with MAKING everything haraam. So don’t trust any of it. I’ve made this disclaimer a few times in the post itself.

      If you are seeking guidance, I’m happy to refer you to some sources, including individual scholars, who can help you spiritually.

      Like

  34. Shayna says:

    Hi Sister!
    My name is Shayna and I recently found the need to express my talent.
    What I mean is I want to become a famous singer and not the Islamic type.
    I have done many haraam things in my past,
    and i regret them deeply.
    I don’t namaaz 5 times a day and I dont keep all my fastings.
    Do you think that Allah SWT will forgive me?

    Like

    • orbala says:

      It’s not my place to say who God will forgive and who God won’t forgive. But the Qur’an says God is most forgiving and merciful. Never hurts to repent and change into something you’ll believe is better than your past self. 🙂 If you’d like some sources to guide you, please let me know. I’m happy to direct you to people and books that can help you spiritually if you are interested.

      Like

  35. TrueMuslim says:

    Assalamualaikum dear! I was very scared to ask this, but I have to ask this. Do help…
    A few months ago, many friends of mine at school say that (for example), Cadbury, like dairy milk, bubbly etc. you know is haraam because it is made out of pork, although it’s not there in the ingredients. I got really confused. Should I believe them or not? Or is this true?
    And also, last year, I heard a lot many times that drinking Pepsi, Coca Cola, Thums up (Indian version of Pepsi) are all haraam too. And so bringing stuff like that to school was banned. Because they are made of some ingredients which are haraam. [AND THAT’S WHAT MUSLIMS SAY, including the best of teachers (Muslim teachers).] Most of my friends also say that like a can of coca cola, when we put it in front of a mirror, it’s written (((((la Muhammad la Allah))))){Astaghfirullah!!!}, but I never tried it and never will.
    And as I live in an Arab and a Muslim country (UAE), how can these things be haraam. And skittles and other stuff which you mentioned can be (maybe) true that way. Hmm… But still, I’m not sure. But I used to be fond of Pepsi, but after hearing about it, I barely drink it.
    Other than that, there are many other things which are haraam, but not there in the ingredients. VERY BAD!! Huh, not good! 😦 Now, how on Earth will I know if they are haraam or not?!?! The *new* generation things are awful nowadays!
    By the way I’m really very very sorry for asking stuff about food during Ramadan, like during when we fast. Astaghfirullaha wa atubu ilaih.

    Like

    • TrueMuslim says:

      If it is true, many people in the rest of the world don’t know about it. If it is false, how can they say it’s true? That’s one of the main confusion in me.

      Like

    • orbala says:

      Thank you for reading, TM.
      Please be advised that I’m not an Islamic legal scholar and am uncomfortable telling you what’s haraam and what’s not (though I do have my opinions on these things).
      This list is not an actual list of haraam things according to Islam, Islam as the religion of God. The list is making fun of some Muslims’ obsession with MAKING everything haraam. So don’t trust any of it. I’ve made this disclaimer a few times in the post itself.

      Like

  36. TrueMuslim says:

    Assalamualikum Shayna, Ramadan Kareem… here’s some information, do have a look, indeed, Allah will guide you to the straight path, for He is the Most Forgiving, Most Merciful.
    Just regret your sin, pray to Allah for forgiveness and promise to never to do it again.
    That’s what they called taubah nasuha
    Say this: AstagfirAllaha rabbi min kulli zambiun wa Atubu’ilayhi (x11)
    I seek forgiveness of my sins from Allah who is my Lord and I turn towards Him.
    Just pray and show that you WILL change
    If we want Allah to forgive us, we should be forgiving of others and willing to overlook their wrongs. This is part of what it means to be good to others. Allah describes his believing servants as “those who restrain their anger and are pardoning towards people.” He then says: “Indeed, Allah loves those who do good.” [Sūrah Āl `Imrān: 134]
    Giving you the best of luck for you future from my part,
    Best Wishes,
    Iqra ❤

    Like

  37. Anti-Liberal says:

    I do agree with Ahmed, whatever you mentioned is according to you ONLY. Now don’t declare any Fatwa about me BUT if you are NOT following Islam according to Quran & Hadees don’t teach and spread false stories.

    Ta khu zan na mashrota jora kare da kala cha pase lagya e kala cha pase, da har sa Quran hades ke mention shwe de. Ta ka azada khyala e agha sta khpal deen eman khu bal nashy convince koly.

    Che khpala charga de sama we bal kara agai na achai, start from yourself rather than blaming Ulema. NO one enforced you to follow Ulama (Mullah according to you) Everything is mentioned in Qurban/Hadees follow them.

    Khu na ta khu lag der advance shanty shay ye kana, Somra ezat che Pukhtano khazo la warkai domra yo qom om na warkai, aw da de 10000 examples ba tata pa Pashtoon belt ke melo she.

    P.S: I NEVER SAW A POST IN YOUR BLOG WHICH APPRECIATE A LAW IN ISLAM. HAR CHARTA ZE AW AGHA SEZ SHARE KAY KAM KE CHE DE KHPALA FAIDA WE. ALLAH DE HIDAYAT DARKE…

    Like

    • orbala says:

      I’m giggling at this. LOL especially @ how Pashtuns give the most respect to their women compared to all other nations/cultures. Totally in line with the reality:

      https://orbala.wordpress.com/2015/06/29/what-its-like-being-a-pashtun-woman-on-social-media-story-2/ Congratulations. You thought you could fool me or any other Pukhtana woman. #chucklesAgain

      So many lolzuna also @ everything being mentioned in the Qur’an and hadeeth and so just follow that. Indeed. That’s why all Muslims believe and practice Islam the same way and that’s why there’s no such thing as Islamic intellectual history and thought, the hundreds of schools/madhhabs that formed in the early some centuries of Islam (among which only 4 major Sunni ones survived and some Shi’i ones), that’s why there are no sects and sub-sects and sub-sub-sects in Islam, that’s why all scholars will give you the exact same answer to any question you want … in fact, no need to ask any scholars for anything because everything’s in the Qur’an and hadiths, and it’s all very clear, so no need to turn to anyone else or any source for anything else.

      I’m convinced ❤

      A wonderful Ramadhan mubarak to you, Wror jaana!

      Liked by 1 person

  38. Irfa says:

    Haha! i found that article so funny 😂😂
    Although seeing a lot of people’s comments on this article, I think they’re taking it a little TOO seriously.. not judging anyone..
    but like seriously people, chill, this is just a list of one of those typical stereotypes that are made from people (in this case, those “Haram polices” 😂😂) who think they know everything in Islam and so feel they have the right to say what is Haram and Halal. Though only Allah SWT has that right.
    Also, Not all of these things are Haram.. the author was just trying to give ya’ll a good laugh. 😂😂 �😂�😂
    like you don’t gotta not wear cologne and wear it at the same time.. and if you think you do, I honestly wish some SERIOUS good luck. 😂😂
    And the whole think with women being treated like shit..? You won’t find that anywhere in the Qur’an. heck, we/they can practically steal from our “spouses” if they aren’t giving us the money we/they need for our/they’re kids.
    And for all those people out there thinking too hard after reading this article, don’t sweat it, it’s all just a joke. Aint most of this real but that again matters on your own beliefs..
    Ramadan Mubarak to All!

    Like

  39. Hend says:

    As muslims you shouldn’t be disrespectful, even if the one speaking to you is. Show kindness. So people on here please ask Allah to forgive you for your comments! And ORBALA did not say all these are true, and I believe some of the stuff listed were told to kids to teach them or put a little fear in them so it may shape into better muslims. But most things on the list are true to a true believer.
    * Some of you guys chose to read the end of the book instead starting from the beginning. Don’t judge, first know the story before assuming.

    Like

  40. sammy says:

    I guess you haven’t read the Quran properly…
    it is an act of kufr to state things as haram which are not haram in the Quran
    you are seriously making people think “maybe i shouldnt convert to islam”
    because haram is a big word it is something you should refrain from and you say doritos are something you should refrain from??? Do you think the word doritos was in the Quran? I bet you dont even follow islam properly, wears the hijab?

    Like

  41. sammy says:

    I shouldnt have said the word “bet” i know your probably gonna say “betting is haram as well” just to let you know i dont bet and it was just a saying

    Like

  42. Apurbo says:

    Let me tell everyone something about this post… its a joke, the guy says it in his intro like 3 times. And if anyone takes a joke seriously, they got some big issues lol. Also, I’d like to point out the fact that its a sad truth about how some people can get overzealous about what is haraam and not especially from the hadith. They end up forgetting completely the basis of Islam and end up wasting their time finding other peoples faults in how those people are doing something haram or not

    Like

  43. Aminata says:

    Oh may Allah forgive you for your mockery oh may he save you from evil Satan

    Like

  44. Hkz says:

    Why is talking to a girl haram.!
    Ik it’s Allah S.w.t orders
    But talking general things.!
    Like about h.w?
    School,grades,study material isn’t it acceptable. Like why? I want to know the reason!
    We can be friends, like helping each other, that’s what humanity is called isn’t it.?
    We are humans for some reason.!
    I just don’t get this point^^^ why.?
    And chess, like why.?

    Like

    • Adam says:

      chess isn’t haram, in fact the reason the west came to know of the game was through trading with the Muslim Ottoman empire in which the origin of the game was widely popular.

      Like

    • Orbala says:

      None of those things are haraam. Did you not read the post?

      Like

  45. Peopole… why cannot understand that exist is haram too? lolxxxxxxxxxx Didnt get the point of her? lolxxxxxxxxxxxxx (dying here)

    Like

  46. Abdul Karim Taha says:

    Salam, Orbala! You have got a great sense of humour. Alhamdulillah! I completely got your point. You know … some years ago I even wanted to record a video playing and singing a funk song whose lyrics would be “haraam bidah, haraam bidah, haraam haraam haraam bidah, bidah bidah haraam” ….

    Like

  47. afsana says:

    thank you for writing this! but I don’t understand why is not covering the face masturbating, Doritos, skittles and eclectic shaving haram?

    Like

  48. Mohammad Dilshad says:

    can anyone tell me please how many things are there a women only can do rather than man. as in above list there some things only men are allowed to do.

    Like

  49. According to this list, all my colleagues are going to hell. ^^

    Like

  50. Ahlam says:

    How is it haraam to eat sweets or chocolate!
    loads of people eats sweets, especially on Eid!

    Like

  51. Proud_Pakistani says:

    It remind me a joke sorry if this offend anyone but its quiet relevant

    There was one gorgeous looking girl who went to some local molvi and told him that she got fall in love. Molvi saab did not even let her finish and started shouting that its sin, its haraam its forbidden etc the girl said it again that molvi saab i got fall in love with you then molvi suddenly changed his tone and said wow subhanallah Marshallal alhumdulillah.

    There are many people among us who make Islam so difficult that you hardly even find space of breathing . They will dictate your habit of sitting, eating, sleeping , laughing , talking and would make you feel guilty over silly irrelevant issues etc Our molvi sahibaan dont concentrate on character building but all their lectures revolve around behaya and parda of woman and blaming west for all vulgarity in society. They dont even realise that western principles are even more compatible with Islamic morals and values if we leave freedom of drinking wine or immoral open sex aside.

    Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

    “Religion is easy, and no one overburdens himself in his religion but he will be unable to continue in that way. So do not be extremists, but try to be near perfection and receive the good tidings that you will be rewarded. Gain strength by worshipping in the mornings and afternoons and during the last hours of the night.”

    Like

  52. asala says:

    Salem,
    Ok is it harem to uncover your hair when you are twelve years old?

    Like

    • orbala says:

      W/S, it depends on who you ask. Some will say yes, some will say no, some will say it depends if you’ve reached puberty or not. I say it’s not because it’s not obligatory to cover your hair in the first place. But this isn’t the majority opinion, so if you want the majority opinion, I’m the wrong person to ask.

      Like

  53. Munna says:

    This is amazing Masha’Allah
    But what is haraam for a woman really concerns me, I am not going against all the things you are stating but however can you prove your point in the holy Quran please so I can check if it’s true
    Because not visiting your parents while there on their deathbed without your husband permission is pretty insane???? Isn’t it said in the Quran that you have to respect your parents with all your ability
    Ya Allah my parents mean the world to me may Allah(swt) forbid them to be at that state for any of us. Ameen! As a matter of fact, it is said in Quran that you should treat people equally and respectful what you saying that is haraam for women comparing to what you are saying that is haraam for men shows a lot of inequality and being mistreated towards women.
    How you are describing a women treating her husband makes YOU think women should be slaves towards their husband forward to get their permission on everything, the fact that women should OBEY their husband “is that a mistake” because we should only OBEY Allah(swt)
    It doesn’t say in the Quran that women have to cover your face whereas it does say that women have to cover their hair but FACE I believe that is invalid information. Don’t you??
    This what makes people from other religion queation Islam
    This is the reason why Muslims get mistreated by other religion

    Like

    • orbala says:

      None of these things are actually haraam. Please read the post carefully where I’ve insanely repeated myself that this is satire, NOT real. You should trust your instinct. It’s not haraam to show your hair or your face or skin. Men don’t own you – no one owns you; you can visit your parents whenever you want. Geez.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Munna says:

      Why are you replying to me, isn’t it haram to “talk too much”!?!? and why are you saying “geez”, shouldn’t you be saying Isa!?!? MAKE SURE YOU HAVE READ THE QURAN PROPERLY AND THEN STATE WHAT IS HARAM OR NOT! DO NOT MAKE UP YOUR OWN RULES! YOU SAYING WHAT IS HARAM FOR WOMEN WOULD MAKE PEOPLE THINK THIS IS ALL TRUE! MAKE SURE YOU STATE AT THE VERY BEGINNING THAT THIS NOT TRUE!

      Like

  54. quagmireisadora says:

    I came across this post when I ran a search for a list of things considered haraam. You know, for knowledge and stuff. And ngl real funny stuff.

    But lbr the comments were the most educational thing on here.

    Ah humans~

    Like

  55. lafcady says:

    Someone once got really upset about the smiley faces on my socks – because jinn would possess them and they would come alive. She was completely serious. Smiley faces are haraam, apparently. (Obviously people thought my sparkly pink flying pig socks were haraam. I was expecting that one).

    Like

  56. Ahmed says:

    Aslmk..

    This post is really so funny…..And a joke on ISLAM……

    O’ my Muslim Bros & sisters never try to gain ISLAMIC knowledge through internet…

    He the writer of the post is going on writing the list of HARAAM…

    more than half the things r not Harram ..They are just disliked (Makrroh) …

    at last , I request u ppl to ask u questions ,masails to near by Mosque Imam,scholar,or else if u cant do so then online u go for darul ifta standard authorized websites like Darool uloom (UK, Deoband , etc..)

    if any question or Masails can even mail me to ” wasiahmed456@gmail.com “..

    Allah Knows the best …

    Aslmk

    Like

    • Orbala says:

      There’s no joke on Islam here, and actually, the joke is on you.
      And, also, the writer of this post is not a he. It’s a she. Stop thinking everyone is by default male. #DeathToPatriarchy

      Like

  57. Mohammed Jameel says:

    Alcohol is haraam for us, i believe so because i follow the Quran and not what people have invented, also i eat meat that is slaughtered the islamic way not because i have to but because it actually is slaughtered in a healthier way and clears the meat of all impurites(or so i believe) i have at times consumed non halal food by mistake. I find all the other things listed ridiculous and am Lmao at all of those,seriously people need to stop believing everything they read on the internet , thanks for your research orbala.

    Like

  58. Anonymous says:

    Almost the whole thing is not true

    Like

  59. Anonymous says:

    Wearing cologne and not wearing cologne then what are you suppose to do

    Like

  60. Is it serious that someone.. after all this time didnt get the point of this article???? lolx.
    The comments on this till now make me laugh too much…
    Orbala, gulaba, thanks very much for hv written this artcl. lolxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Please, add on this list:
    loving marriage is haran too! lolxxxxxxxxxxx

    Like

  61. Em says:

    According to IslamQA, everyone’s favorite extremist hub, it’s forbidden to give your child a non-Arabic name (Persian, Turkish, Berber, etc) and to name your daughter a “sensuous” name. What does that even mean?

    Like

    • rosalindawijks says:

      Indeed, what does “sensuous” mean, and what is wrong with sensuality?

      And that stuff about not giving your child an Arab name: that’s pure Arab supremacy/fascism.

      As far as I have understood, a name has to have a good meaning in Islam. And there are lots of lovely Western names, and even more amazing names from Muslim languages like Hausa, Swahili, Somali, Persian, Turkish, Urdu, Tamazight, Malay, Pashtun, Fulani, Bambara, Mandinka, etc.,etc.,etc.

      Like

  62. Fatima Nida says:

    Perfume is haram? For girls?
    1 more Q- If opposite gender chat on Facebook or somewhere else just normal talks. Is still haram?

    Like

  63. Ahmed says:

    I wonder that u took a lot of time to srch all this information..and posted it on Ur website..

    Well I appreciate u..

    But mean while if u hv did it to guide ppl u wud hv got a great reward..

    But ,,u r the devil in human’s face..

    Hv started with the name of Allah ,,

    For making ppl astray from ISLAM …

    HARAAM r those things wch r clearly mentioned in Quran or any authentic Hadith.(said by prophet Mohd pbuh)..

    They r many different levels in prohibitions..

    U brought everything under same category..

    I think u don’t like ISLAM ,,but as being disbeliever making ppl away from following the religion and creating negative mind against Islam u do..

    Well,,I don’t say that everything posted here is wrong ..

    But more than 60% is … Wrong !!

    God guide us to the right path…(Ameen)

    Like

  64. Hend says:

    Wtf, dude .. U dont know anything about Islam and that blog isn’t even funny Wallahi .. That’s not even sarcasm

    Like

  65. Yasmine says:

    Hey everyone I’m only a teen and I read through these comments and orbla said what’s wrong with wanting to look like a girl do u not understand the opinion us muslims have on homisexuality,secondly above you had a big comment about people saying mean comments now look what your doing now and I know only God to declare what is wrong but most of this stuff is true if your a Muslim then act like one seriously this is coming from a 12 year old and for you asala it clearly states WOMEN! Not 12 year old have to cover hair WOMEN! I’m disappointed in all the Muslims on this website say why is this haram its harm because Allah said it is haram okay some of this is not true but some is and all you Muslims watch what your saying about your religion

    Your sincerely Yasmine 🙏

    Like

  66. Yasmine says:

    I do not appreciate these memes on this website it is ridiculous I am just saying once again this is comming from a 12 year old

    Yours sincerely Yasmine 🙏

    Like

  67. Khadija says:

    This seems like a bullshit website, I’m sure God would prefer we are with our parents while they are on their deathbed rather than obeying our husband’s ridiculous orders.

    Like

  68. Em says:

    @Orbala

    That Islamweb website is total trash. There’s a question where a woman says she had to give her cat away when she became ill and prays to get the cat back in heaven. The answer told her God won’t give her the cat back and she should stop praying for that because it’s inappropriate.

    http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/index.php?page=showfatwa&Option=FatwaId&Id=133813

    Like

  69. Kim says:

    I believe that this is very racist. If you want to share these type of jokes share them with people who care and support this. I also believe that in the afterlife we will find out if we are taking life too serious and if its a joke to have so many rules. Also muslims have rights to take this serious as it is teasing our religon

    Like

    • Orbala says:

      QUOTE: ” If you want to share these type of jokes share them with people who care and support this.”

      Yep – that’s exactly what I’m doing here. ❤ Thanks for the permission nonetheless!

      Like

  70. Mohamed ziyakath says:

    This article is so funny I don’t want to reply all your claims here but according to islam playing chess and eating sea foods are not haram prohibited

    Like

  71. Azzy says:

    The real Jews, Christians and Hindus all follow the book sent by Allah, so it’s not prohibited to be any of those religious. And anything that takes you off the right path is haram, be that baking, reading, having a blog to ‘help’ people or watching TV, so why are you acting like it says in the quran that you can’t watch TV? 😂

    Like

  72. Alaa Albayati says:

    Really nice article first of all. I want to ask you a question. Is eating some candy like jolly rancher haraam? I was just wandering about that. Thank you so much! 🙂

    Like

  73. orbala, your patience is commendable. This list must have taken forever.

    I think you forgot to mention ‘existing’ and ‘falling in love,’

    Like

  74. Annamous says:

    As I am one to really look into the true rules of Islam… many parts of this list ain’t true. This may be on culture, however, this is not the religion.

    Like

  75. Jhon adam says:

    THIS IS NOT RIGHT a most if them are not true and they don’t explain the things that is haram ,because all they want is to people think bad of ISLAM ,and just to remember against a most the things on this list is not true ?!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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