Can Muslim Women Marry Non-Muslims?: A Qur’anic Response

Pre-post: This is for those who believe that Muslim men are allowed to marry People of the Book while women are prohibited; because that means that the whole “shirk” of the People of the Book becomes relevant only when we’re talking about women but not when we’re talking about men (I address this below). If you believe it’s prohibited for BOTH genders, this isn’t for you. 

According to most (Sunni) Muslims, and to the historical Islamic tradition, Muslim men are allowed to marry Christians and Jews, and according to all Muslim sects and schools, Muslim women are prohibited from marrying any non-Muslim. The Qur’an has a few verses that prohibit marriage to the mushrikeen (polytheists, generally), and since there’s little disagreement on this and since this prohibition applies to both genders, I’m not concerned with it. I’m interested in the claim that it’s “haram” for women to marry Christians and Jews.

Muslims popularly believe—and Muslim scholars/teachers of Islam falsely promote the claim—that the Qur’an explicitly prohibits women’s marriage to People of the Book. So I’ve been doing some research on this, and it turns out that the Qur’an actually does not prohibit women’s marriage to People of the Book at all.  It merely allows men explicitly to marry them. So here’s some interesting stuff that I think people should know, especially Muslim women who are shamed and guilted for marrying People of the Book.

does the Qur’an prohibit women’s marriage to the people of the book?

No. It does not. Scholars — like Ibn ‘Ashur (in his tafsir of 5:5), Khaled Abou El-Fadl in a fatwa on women’s marriage to kitabis, and several feminist ones (see below for references, but especially Kecia Ali) — have already pointed out that the prohibition is not Qur’anic or in the Qur’an. The prohibition is based instead on ijma’ (consensus) of historical scholars. See for yourself in the verses relevant to this issue.

Qur’an 2:221:

Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters) [al-mushrikāt] until they believe [ḥattā yu’minū]: A believing slavewoman [amatun mu’minatun] is better than an unbelieving woman [mushrikatin], even though she allures you [wa law a‘jabatkum – i.e., “even though she is more appealing to you”]. Do not marry (your women to) unbelievers [lā tunkihū al-mushrikīna] until they believe: A man slave [‘abdun mu’minun] who believes is better than an unbeliever [mushrikīn], even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise.”

This verse can easily be seen as disallowing marriage between “believers” and “mushriks” for both genders. But this is one of the most common “Qur’anic” explanation given for why women can’t marry People of the Book. Note that the verse has nothing to do with People of the Book.

Also, according to this verse, the reason the marriage is prohibited is that the disbelievers “call you to the Fire” whereas God does not. (This is I think what Yasmin Mogahed means in a video Al-Maghrib posted yesterday where she “explains why” Muslim women can’t marry non-Muslims. According to her, marriage should be based on a love for God, a suggestion that fails to explain why men can marry non-Muslims then, as though their marriages don’t have to be based on love for (the same?) God. More on this below.

Qur’an 60:10-60:11:

“O ye who believe! When there come to you believing women refugees [al-mu’minatu muhajiratin] , examine (and test) them: Allah knows best as to their Faith: if ye ascertain that they are Believers [mu’minatin], then send them not back to the Unbelievers [kuffar]. They are not lawful (wives) for the Unbelievers, nor are the (Unbelievers) lawful (husbands) for them. But pay the Unbelievers what they have spent (on their dower), and there will be no blame on you if ye marry them on payment of their dower to them. But hold not to marriage bonds with disbelieving women [wa lā tumsikū bi-‘iṣami al-kawāfiri]: ask for what ye have spent on their dowers, and let the (Unbelievers) ask for what they have spent (on the dowers of women who come over to you). Such is the command of Allah: He judges (with justice) between you. And Allah is Full of Knowledge and Wisdom.”

Note that the category of people Muslim women aren’t allowed to is the kuffar (the earlier category was mushriks). Kuffar generally means people who disbelieve. The category is NOT ahl-al kitab, or People of the Book.

Funny story: do you see how this verse tells men “don’t hold on to marriage bonds with unbelieving women”? That part’s too often translated as “don’t hold on to the guardianship of unbelieving women”! In other words, while 60:10 is used to tell Muslim women they can’t marry “all non-Muslim men,” the truth is that the verse tells Muslim men, too, that they can’t remain married to the kuffar. Yet, not only is this portion of the verse not highlighted to the extent the earlier portion of the verse is, but it is also consistently invoked in the tafsīr tradition as well as in contemporary conversations on interfaith marriages for Muslim women as Qur’anic evidence against women’s right to marry kitabis.

There’s also context to this verse, like to all other Qur’anic verses. Here are some sources you can check out for this, because I don’t want to make this post longer than it needs to be: Asma Lamrabet, “What does the Qur’an say about interfaith marriage?” (this link doesn’t always work, though); and Asma Afsaruddin’s “Qur’anic Ethics of Partnership and Gender: The Concept of Wilaya in Qur’an 9:71.” (There’s more, but this should suffice for now.)

Qur’an 5:5:

“This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time [al-muhṣanātu min al-mu’mināti wa al-muhṣanātu min alladhīna ūtu’l kitāba min qablikum] – when ye give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues [muhṣinīna ghaira musāfihīna wa lā muttakhidhī akhdānin]. If anyone rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).”

This verse explicitly allows men to marry among the People of the Book. Note that it does not prohibit it to women, but that silence of whether women are allowed to or not is interpreted as prohibition in this case. It’s convenient that in this case, the text’s silence becomes a source of prohibition, despite the legal maxim that nothing is prohibited unless expressly written (lā taḥrīm illā bi naṣ). Because in most other cases, silence is NOT read as prohibition. Think about “female homosexuality,” for example. The claim is that the Qur’an forbids, through the story of Lot, same-sex relations among all people, even though the story of Lot is strictly about men. But basically, if even men are denied something, then of course so are women; but just because men are allowed something doesn’t mean women are, too. More about this hypocrisy another time.)

There are at least two misconceptions about this verse. 1) It’s used widely to “prove” that women are prohibited from marrying People of the Book. It does not prohibit women’s marriage to kitabi men but simply allows men’s; and 2) Muslims widely claim that, yes, the Qur’an allows men’s marriage to People of the Book “but only to chaste People of the Book!” Here’s the thing, though, if that verse is to be taken literally: 5:5 allows men to marry “chaste” women from among the believers (presumably Muslims) AND chaste women from among the People of the Book (“muḥṣanāt among the believers and muḥṣanāt among the people of the book”). In other words, neither an “unchaste” Muslim woman nor an unchaste non-Muslim woman is allowed to the presumably chaste male audience in 5:5.


When women read the Qur’an for themselves ❤

Also, another important fact regarding 5:5: the Qur’anic word “muhsanaat” meant “free” women in earlier exegetical traditions. For example, Tabari tells us in his tafsir of 5:5 pretty clearly that the scholars disagreed over the meaning of “muhsanah,” with many saying that as long as this kitabiyyah (woman from the People of the Book) is free, it doesn’t matter if she’s chaste or unchaste – she could be a “whore” or “lewd woman” (fājirah kānat au ‘afīfah) they said, for all the Qur’an cares, just as long as she is not a slave. This debate makes sense because slave women were not presumed to be “chaste,” given their owner’s right to have sex with them; in fact, the root word ḥ-ṣ-n means “to be inaccessible” and thus “chaste.” Also, though, the debate wasn’t just about chaste vs free women; it was also about which People of the Book–e.g., those under Muslim rule or universally?

There’s something else that interests me about 5:5. The fact that the earlier part is commonly read as addressing ALL Muslims (men and women) but suddenly the audience changes with “muhsanaat.” in other words, if the word muhsanaat wasn’t there, we would assume it’s addressing everyone equally? Na, who’m I kidding.

And of course, there were individuals of authority from earlier on (like the caliphs Umar and Ali and Sulayman bin Yassar), who did not support Muslim men’s marriage to People of the Book. There are reports attributed to Umar where he orders men to divorce their Jewish or Christian wives. Tabari’s tafsir talks about these reports.

Isn’t it interesting – and unacceptable – that although the Islamic tradition, Islam, Islamic law, and the Islamic legal schools are widely acknowledged to be diverse, nuanced, and certainly not monolithic, conversations on the subject of Muslim women’s marriage to non-Muslims (specifically to kitābis) often present Islam as a monolith on the matter? I have a lot more to add to this, as it relates to my current research, but I’ll discuss this in a separate blog post where I plan to summarize my research and results.

While none of the verses above (or other Qur’anic verses on marriage) explicitly prohibit marriage between Muslim women and kitābi men, the exegetes read the above verses collectively to prohibit such unions. They decided that 2:222 is an absolute guideline against marriage to all non-Muslims for all Muslims but that an exception was made later for Muslim men to marry People of the Book via 5:5.

Kecia Ali explains this really well, summarizing the issues that arise from the traditional interpretations of verses 2:221 and 5:5:

“The prohibition of marrying women off to mushrikin in Surah 2, verse 221 does not by itself foreclose the possibility of permission for women to marry kitabis. And although Surah 5, verse 5 does not explicitly grant permission for such marriages, there are numerous other instances in the Qur’an where commands addressed to men regarding women are taken to apply … to women.” (p. 21 of Sexual Ethics and Islam)

Are “People of the Book” believers or not?

It’s complicated, honestly. If you’re referring to Qur’anic verses 5:73 and 9:30, those who believe that God has a son (Jesus for Christians, an Uzair or Ezra for the Jews, these verses say), “some” among Christians and Jews are disbelievers. But the Qur’an on the one hand tells us that marriage with People of the Book is allowed, while marriage with “disbelievers” is prohibited.

But apparently and conveniently, from what the tafsir tradition shows, the answer to the question of the People of the Book’s status in the Qur’an depends on their gender: The men of the People of the Book are disbelievers but their women are believers. This is pretty much what Muslims mean when they invoke the disbeliever status of the People of the book *only* when the question is about why women can’t marry them but never about why men can. When you ask why men can marry them, the simple answer given is that “the Qur’an says it’s allowed to men,” and I think it’s unfortunate that this claim isn’t investigated. In fact, too many Muslims will even claim that the Qur’an explicitly forbids women’s marriage to People of the Book.

You see, while the scholars debated the status of the People of the Book in relation to Muslims, the Qur’an challenges the idea that the People of the Book are absolute disbelievers and that they are absolute believers. The scholars had the option to read 2:221 as inapplicable to People of the Book and 5:5 as applicable to both men and women, but they seem to have taken a route that works most in their favor.  Thus, a conclusive point about the exegetical tradition’s view on marriage between Muslims and non-Muslims is that the status of “disbelievers” depends on the disbeliever’s gender: for Muslim women, all non-Muslims are classified as disbelievers; for Muslim men, only polytheists/mushriks are disbelievers. (Lamrabet corroborates this conclusion of mine, too.)

Look, here’s the thing: I totally understand the claim that “the people of the Book of the Qur’an aren’t the same ones as those of today,” but a) how do we know that? b) what about 5:5? Are men no longer allowed to marry people of the book, then? c) does that mean that … the Qur’an isn’t for all times and people after all? Because if that’s so, can we then not argue that the prohibition on marriages even with the mushrikeen is no longer relevant? I mean, how far do we go with this claim, right?

the historical justifications for the prohibition: “marriage is a type of slavery.”

Now, note that while none of the verses above (or other Qur’anic verses on marriage)  prohibit marriage between Muslim women and kitābi men, the (male) exegetes read the above verses collectively to prohibit such unions. Why? The short answer is that the prohibition emerged because of parallels that pre-modern Muslim scholars drew between marriage (milk al-nikāh) and slavery (milk al-yamīn).

Consider this quote from Ibn Taymiyyah from his Majmu’ Fatāwa, for example:

“Milk al-nikah [the classical Islamic legal term for marriage, literally dominion of marriage] is a type of enslavement (nau‘ raq) and dominion over right hand possession (slavery) is absolute enslavement [wa milk al-yamin raq tām]. God allowed Muslim men [lil muslimin] to marry the People of the Book, but He did not allow the People of the Book to marry their [Muslims’] women. This is because marriage is a kind of slavery, as ‘Umar said: “Marriage is enslavement, so be careful, each of you, with regard to who will enslave his daughter [al-nikah raq; faliyandhur ahadkum ‘inda man yaraq karimatahu].” Zaid Ibn Thabit said, “The husband is master in God’s Book,” and recited the verse of God “and they found her master (sayyidihā) at the door” (Q. 12:25). And the Prophet said, “Fear God regarding women, for they are prisoners with you (ʿawān ‘indakum).” So it is permissible for a Muslim to enslave (yastariqq) a kāfirah, but a kāfir is not allowed to enslave a Muslim woman (muslimah) because Islam is superior and nothing can be above it, just as a Muslim can own (yamlik) a kāfir, while a kāfir can never own a Muslim.”

Ibn Hanbal (whom the Hanbali school is named after) had pretty similar ideas on the obedience and superiority logic.

Yohanan Friedman, in his book Tolerance and Coercion in Islam: Interfaith Relations in the Muslim Tradition, summarizes this dilemma as follows:

“A marriage of a Muslim woman to a non-Muslim woman would result in an unacceptable incongruity between the superiority which the woman should enjoy by virtue of being Muslim, and her unavoidable wifely subservience to her infidel husband. In terms of Islamic law, such a marriage would involve an extreme lack of kafā’a, that is, of the compatibility between husband and wife, which requires that a woman not marry a man lower in status than herself…. (p. 161)

(P.S. For more on the relationship between slavery and marriage, definitely see Kecia Ali’s books. Start with Sexual Ethics and Islam: Feminist Reflections on Qur’an, Hadith and Jurisprudence. And continue on to Marriage and Slavery in Early Islam.)

So, historically, the prohibition was rooted in assumptions of male superiority over female and Muslim superiority over non-Muslim. (That Muslims are superior to non-Muslims was a pretty common view and some Muslims still believe this. Historical scholars used this claim to explain why non-Muslims receive no inheritance from Muslims while Muslims are totally entitled to receiving inheritance from non-Muslims. This idea was commonly expressed alongside this marriage issue, with the expression: المسلم يرث الكافر لا عكسه كما ننكح نساءهم ولا ينكحون نساءنا (a Muslim can inherit from a non-Muslim, but not vice versa, just as a Muslim (man) can marry a non-Muslim woman but a non-Muslim man cannot marry a Muslim woman).


Fatima al-Samarqandi, a 12th-century female scholar

Through circular logic (“our religion is better than non-Muslims’ religion because we’re allowed to marry their women and they can’t marry ours because our religion is better than their religion…” and “women are inferior to men because Islam does not allow them to marry non-Muslims while allowing men to do so because women are inferior to men”), the scholars reinforced and legitimated merely their own assumptions, ideals, and expectations about women especially but also about non-Muslims. That is, the scholars imagined the husband as his wife’s master and required wifely obedience to the husband just as they imagined that Muslims are superior to non-Muslims. From these premises followed other ideas related to marriage and sexual relations. Since the two ideas that Muslims are superior to non-Muslims and that a wife owes her husband obedience are inherently contradictory, it follows, they decided, that a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man. Marriage between a Muslim man and a non-Muslim woman is potentially the utmost form of male superiority over female, then, as the Muslim man is thus able to display his superiority over his wife on the virtues of both her gender and her religion. It simply made sense to the scholars that women would not, or should not, be allowed to marry outside the faith because such marriages would disrupt the gender hierarchy on which patriarchies have functioned historically, and so it made sense why they read their assumptions into the Qur’anic text – we all project our assumptions into the Qur’an.

Since this is the case — these totally unacceptable and (largely?) rejected assumptions — Kecia Ali asks this excellent question in Sexual Ethics and Islam: “If the Qur’an does not directly address the marriage of Muslim women to kitabi men, and if the presumptions about male supremacy and dominance in the home no longer hold …, what rationale exists for continuing to prohibit marriage between Muslim women and kitabi men in the first place?” (p. 21 of the 2nd ed) I’ll get to this question right after I discuss this idea of “kafa’a” (marital compatibility).

Kafā‘a or marital compatibility as a historical justification for the prohibition

A woman’s compatibility in marriage is really important to Islam, especially in Hanafi fiqh (jurisprudence). It’s so serious that a Muslim woman is not allowed to marry a man who’s not compatible with her. BUT the catch – and there’s always a catch, because no one actually has ever cared about women without some sexist condition – is that compatibility was understood as socio-economic compatibility: the woman is not to marry a man who is of a lower socio-economic status than she is. I’m a huge proponent of reclaiming and re-interpreting concepts such as kafa’a when they can help alleviate someone’s situation, and so I think we need to revive this idea more and apply it to Muslim women’s situation. By this, I mean that I suggest we reclaim the idea of kafa’ and carry it beyond (the classist, from a contemporary standpoint) view of socio-economic status (or religious status) and apply it to emotional, physical, intellectual, and other layers of compatibility as well.

I am reluctant to accept this concern for compatibility as rooted in a genuine concern for the well-being of the Muslim woman. Because, according to some schools and scholars, a non-Muslim man who marries a Muslim woman is to be punished severely while a Muslim man of a low social standing who marries a woman of a higher social status isn’t punished (as far as I know).  For more on the punishment that a non-Muslim man, especially if dhimmi, was to receive if he married a Muslim woman, see Yohanan Friedman’s book Tolerance and Coercion in Islam: Interfaith Relations in the Muslim Tradition (ch. 5 deals specifically with interfaith marriage. The book is expensive, and I have a PDF of Ch. 5, so if you’re interested, I’m happy to email it). I mean, we’re talking corporal punishments here – and not just for the non-Muslim, especially a non-dhimmi (dhimmi = a non-Muslim of a protected status living under Muslim rule), who married a Muslim woman but also for the person who facilitated the marriage. And, worse, in the case that a non-Muslim married a female Muslim slave, his entire community was to be punished along with him, at least according to Maliki fiqh. (More about this in  Friedman’s book.)

That the community thought it worth asking if a dhimmi who marries a Muslim woman was to be put to death along with the woman’s guardian who consented to the marriage points to the possibility that this was not a question of marital compatibility but more so an infringement of Muslim male privilege.

Since much of this is either too unbelievable to most Muslims today to accept as Islamically grounded or we’re too unaware of the existence of these claims, the average Muslim doesn’t share these reasons at all to explain the prohibition. Which now brings me to the common reasons that contemporary Muslims give for the prohibition’s existence.

contemporary explanations for this (un-Qur’anic and I insist imagined) prohibition

Of course, there’s the inaccurate claim that the Qur’an prohibits women’s marriage to kitabis. But even if that were so, let’s be real here: the Qur’an says/appears to endorse or prohibit a lot of things that most Muslims today don’t pay much attention or think it’s no longer applicable or relevant. As I’ll discuss in another blog post, this idea of “relevance” is really, really crucial to what is allowed or not allowed to change with time. But for now, let’s stick to why contemporary Muslims think it makes sense to prohibit women’s marriage to kitabi men while allowing it to men.

love for God: you should marry someone who loves God like you do.

There’s the claim that Yasmin Mogahed makes when explaining why the Qur’an “prohibits” women’s marriage to non-Muslims. She claims that it’s because in Islam, a Muslim’s marriage is to be grounded in a love for God. All great and beautiful stuff, but also not exactly making sense. And also clearly not applying to Muslim men who marry non-Muslims. For all the holes in Mogahed’s arguments, please see here.

Okay, but there’s the highly recommended and there’s the utterly prohibited. We don’t get to make something prohibited so easily. Prohibition is a serious matter.

the Qur’anic verses (mentioned above) collectively prohibit such marriages.

Okay, re-read the above. This was especially something that an imam named Abdullah Ali promised his viewers that he’s going to talk strictly from the Qur’an but instead ends up saying, “Well, the consensus is that women can’t marry non-Muslim men, end of story” because none of the verses he was using were supporting his claim. Click here to see discussion on this imam’s incoherent argument.

men are dominant, so they may force their Muslim wives to convert to their faith.

Do I really need to explain this totally flawed claim? Why marry a man who’s going to be so insecure that he has to prove his dominance by forcing you to convert to his faith? And are Muslim men any less likely to be “dominant”? What do you do about marriages between Muslim men and women who have very, very different understandings of Islam? Who “wins” and how do they decide how to raise their children? Oh, never mind – I guess as long as they believe in one God, it’s all good… Oh, wait…

Also, we need some empirical research that responds to this claim that a non-Muslim husband will force his wife to convert. Because all the Muslim women I know who are married to non-Muslim men, their marriages are pretty solidly based on the idea that neither will force the other to believe any way.

children take on the religion of the father.

Ok. Don’t let them then. Again, the interfaith marriages I know, the couple tells me, they agreed in advance about the children’s faith, so they can decide mutually.

But, really, can we think about this some more? Are men really the ones who pass their religion down to their kids? Is a mother’s role that insignificant in childrearing?

And actually, according to Judaism, the children take on the mother’s, NOT the father’s, faith. So according to Judaism, when a Jewish woman marries a Muslim man, her kids are by default Jewish, whereas in Islam, they are by default Muslim.

But also, what if the couple isn’t planning to have any kids or can’t have any kids? Can they marry each other, then?

What is also interesting here is that people will claim, on the one hand, that it’s the mother’s job to raise the kids, while, on the other, that the kids take after their father. Which one is it? Both of the above explanations presume that the children are being raised by the father and the mother plays little to no role in rearing them. This is, uh, not sounding right at all.

And anecdotally speaking, I’m tempted to recount here the cases of my friends who are children of interfaith marriages (with Muslim father, usually Christian mother), and very few identify as Muslim themselves. Because, really, the mother plays a far more important role in practice than patriarchy will have us believe.

(historically) when a woman marries, she marries into the man’s family and moves into his community.

If that’s not the case anymore, can we talk about this? And what exactly does “community” mean here? Because interfaith marriages occur especially in the West where Muslims are a minority – though they’re also currently and have historically been common among Muslims and Hindus in India (where Muslim women do marry Hindu men, despite the “prohibition”).

Muslim men would honor their wives’ rights more than non-Muslims would, who may not even be aware of their Muslim wives’ rights.

Wait, what? According to what or whom, exactly? Muslim men and non-Muslim men are equally prone to being total misogynists and destroying their wives’ lives. Muslim men aren’t inherently better husbands for Muslim women, and Muslim men aren’t inherently more aware of our rights as Muslim women than are non-Muslim men. If anything, Muslim men have “rights” that actually infringe on Muslim women’s rights (like unilateral access to divorce), so …

fine, fine – then the People of the Book of the Qur’an aren’t the same ones today.

Okay, see above, under the heading “Are ‘people of the book’ believers or not?”

what about the hadiths? they certainly don’t allow women’s marriage to non-Muslims!

Yes – hadiths where people like Umar literally say “marriage is like slavery, so be careful who you marry your daughter to” and “non-Muslims aren’t allowed to inherit from Muslims, but Muslims are totally allowed to inherit from Muslims; just like non-Muslims can’t marry our women, but we can marry theirs.”  If you find this convincing or legitimate, go for it. But at any rate, I’m more interested in the claim that the Qur’an prohibits these marriages, and that’s not true.  (And when that’s not the case, then the hadiths are talking about marriage with the mushrikeen. Which, interesting fact: the Prophet’s daughter Zaynab was married a mushrik for a some time after Islam, and the Prophet didn’t declare their marriage as void. And that was a mushrik we’re talking about, not even a person of the book.)

And also, the authenticity of these hadiths need to be called into question as well.

omg, are you saying that if the Qur’an does not explicitly forbid something, it’s allowed?

Wait, you don’t believe that? Can a non-Qur’anic source really be the source of a prohibition? That’s disturbing.

the Qur’an doesn’t forbid polygamy for women, either; does that mean you think it’s allowed? Astaghfs. 

Astaghfs your face. But anyway, so, many Muslim scholars argue that the reason that Muslim men can marry multiple wives is the higher number of women in the world; when there are more women than men, men can marry multiple women to balance things out. This logic can extend to contexts where there are more men somewhere than men (China is a great example), and so in THOSE cases, can women marry multiple husbands? Might it be possible that the Qur’an was trying to say something by not forbidding polyandry? But I’m more concerned that you’re so troubled by the possibility that the Qur’an may not be hating on polyandry like you do … what’s the issue, dear?

well, after the Qur’an and sunnah, we have ijma’, so if the scholars say it’s haraam, it’s haram.

Okay, but the scholars also agreed on a bunch of seriously problematic and disturbing things (like the validity of child marriage and slavery) that you no longer accept as legitimate or Islamic, so …

And also, whose consensus? From what time period until what time period? Were women a part of the conclusion the consensus arrived at, since, you know, this is pretty real and relevant for women? Is following consensus obligatory on us at all times in all circumstances, or can we change it? If so, who decides and how–and are women a part of that re-negotiation?

wait, are you saying that all the scholars of the past came to an erroneous conclusion? Astaghfs!

Again, astaghfs your face. But 1) who said “all the scholars of the past” came to this conclusion? Only the ones whose writings survived or made it into the texts. And the way tradition writing and preservation works, for all we know, the ones who disagreed prolly didn’t even make it into the tradition because they weren’t going with the status quo. 2) there were no women who contributed to this “consensus” so it’s by definition not consensus. 3) it’s absolutely possible for the majority to agree on something that’s incorrect, wrong, or even immoral. An excellent example is, again, slavery: who exactly stood among all the scholars to challenge the idea of owning another human being? None. The reason you don’t think slavery is allowed anymore (right?) is that humans had to fight to make that happen.

yes, but that’s because Islam laid the basis for slavery to end! It promoted the idea that all humans are equal.

Yeah, that’s what everyone tells me, but you know what? Those same people also say that Islam brought about some serious, revolutionary changes for women’s rights, and it promoted women’s rights, too. Why is it that we freeze the idea of “women’s rights” in the 7th century or a few centuries later, but when it comes to human rights more broadly, and social justice more broadly, we look for bases in Islam? Do you not see how this is actually about the desire and work to maintain gender hierarchy?

all right, fine – show me one scholar who believes women are allowed to marry non-Muslims.

Oh, I will. See below for more than just one. But we know you’re going to challenge these scholars’ legitimacy – ultimately only because you disagree with their conclusions and not because they’re not knowledgeable. No one ever questions Yasmin Mogahed’s authority to speak on Islam, only because she maintains and promotes the status quo, despite the fact that her background is actually in Psychology and Journalism and not in anything Islam-related. Yet, she’s the only (oh , wait, now among two! TWO!) female teachers at Al-Maghrib. Mogahed isn’t the only person whose Islamic authority needs to be questioned. A bunch of male “scholars” and other celebrity shaikhs, like Nouman Ali Khan, also need to be questioned. Somehow, a person’s authority becomes questionable only when they challenge mainstream ideas of what’s Islamic and un-Islamic.

all of the above justifications are “cultural,” not “Islamic.”

This discussion has been really popular among my friends lately, and so when a close friend and I were discussing this recently, she asked me for “Islamic” reasons behind the prohibition. I could only recount what the popular reasons are. She dismissed each one and then blew my mind with the statement: “These are all cultural reasons. I want something that’s Islamic, something theologically grounded.” The truth is that there’s no theological reason behind the prohibition because the prohibition is not theological, from God, or from the Qur’an, or from Islam. It’s from men’s perceptions of non-Muslim men and Muslim women.

Cultures are constantly evolving, as do our understandings of religions (and arguably thus religions themselves). If the main reason on which this prohibition stands is tied to children, or to male superiority over female, we can see how weak the argument is. Yet, strikingly, despite the weakness of the argument, it’s one of the strongest, most widely adhered to belief in Muslim tradition, and one of the fewest things on which Muslim scholars came to an agreement – that is, that women are not to be allowed to marry any non-Muslim men.

Muslim scholars who support women’s marriage to People of the Book or challenge the prohibition

Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf: he recognizes that Muslim women’s opportunities to find and marry Muslim men are reduced when Muslim men marry non-Muslim women simply because the latter are permitted to do so while the former are not. Relying on the legal tool of dharurah (or necessity), he believes Muslim women are allowed to marry non-Muslim men. (See his book Moving the Mountain: Beyond Ground Zero to a New Vision of Islam in America, esp. p. 131.)

Asma Lamrabet

Hasan al-Turabi (and here as well), for whom the consensus of the past scholars is always open to question, argues that with changing contexts, you gotta change the rules. (This is actually what ALL Muslims do, whether they admit it or not. More on this another time.)

– Abdullahi Ahmed An-Na’im (see Inter-Religious Marriages Among Muslims)

Khaled Abou El-Fadl: believes that neither Muslim men nor Muslim women should marry non-Muslims. Also that the Qur’an does not forbid women’s marriage to kitabis and that therefore at worst, such marriages are makruh (discouraged, not prohibited).

– I had a discussion about this with Jasser Auda recently, and he agreed that the Qur’an does not prohibit women’s marriage to kitabi men–and he does not think there’s a silence: the Qur’an is never silent on something; it’s always saying something even when it’s not speaking.

– Ibn ‘Ashur, while still not allowing women to marry non-Muslims, at least acknowledges that the prohibition is not Qur’anic but based on consensus.

– Imam Yahya Hendi of Washington, D.C. (he officiates Muslim women’s interfaith marriages)

– Imam Abdullah Antepli (also officiates interfaith marriages)

– most (all?) Muslim feminist scholars have at least questioned the prohibition if not downright allow such marriages because of the invalidity of the prohibition – but for some reason, the topic of interfaith marriage is one of the most understudied topics in history! I’m not sure why, given its relevance and significance in Muslim women’s lives today.

– Amna Nosier, a professor of Islamic philosophy at Al-Azhar University and a member of the Egyptian Parliament

– Amel Grami in Tunisia

– Abdel Kader Merabet in Algeria

– Kussay Fakhir Al-Mousawi in the United Kingdom

– Imam Imad Sayeed of New Jersey (more here)

– more Muslim scholars who endorse such marriages listed here

Also, there’s a documentary called Hidden Hearts that’s currently in production on Muslim women’s interfaith marriage in Britain.

in conclusion

If all this is still unclear, here’s how the logic works (literally how every conversation on this topic goes with Muslims who think it’s “clearly” not allowed):

Are women allowed to marry Christians/Jews?
“No. 2:221 forbids it.”

But 2:221 forbids all Muslims, women AND men, to marry the mushrikeen.
“Yeah, Christians and Jews are declared disbelievers in 5:73 and 9:30 for believing that God has a son.”

Oh, interesting … can men marry Christians and Jews, then?
“Yeah, 5:5 says men can marry them. God made an exception for men.”

Wait, so are People of the Book disbelievers or not? How can God say simultaneously that no marriage with disbelievers and yes marriage with Christians/Jews if they’re disbelievers?
“Ugh, God made an exception for men! We wouldn’t be allowed to marry them if God hadn’t allowed us.”

Ha, that’s convenient. It must be so hard having that privilege. So let’s say that men ARE allowed to marry *the correct kind* of Christians and Jews, not the “disbelievers” among them (I mean, after all, 9:30 and 5:73 acknowledge that only SOME of the People of the Book are disbelievers, not all of them. The same kind of women of the People of the Book that Muslim men are allowed to marry, can Muslim women marry that same kind of men?
“No. Because 5:5 doesn’t apply to women.”

What? How does it not apply to women? It just doesn’t mention that women can do it – it doesn’t say women can’t.
“No, silence in this case = prohibition. ALL of the respectable scholars of the past and the present hung out and made this decision together. [By the way, they were all men.]”

Okay, so the scholars made that decision – not the Qur’an.
“Yes, the Qur’an made that decision. Read 2:221.”


But basically, the prohibition has no grounding in the Qur’an but in questionable cultural/historical assumptions that most Muslims don’t even accept today (like male superiority). It reflects only the (all-male) scholars’ own opinions and preferences instead, and aren’t we always being told that Islam isn’t about our personal whims? It’s therefore not a theological or divine edict and more a cultural idea that made its way into the Islamic legal and exegetical traditions and continues to impact Muslim women’s lives today. However, there are scholars and lay Muslims who have been challenging the claim and are demanding for at least a re-evaluation of the supposed prohibition, and others pointing out that the prohibition isn’t valid to begin with.

So if you’re a Muslim woman and are being spiritually shamed and blackmailed into accepting the prohibition as valid, understand that you have nothing to feel guilty about if you’re questioning or doubting it.

May God forgive us and protect us from attributing claims to The Creator that came actually from the mouths of men and that are rooted not in Islam but in fallible human cultural understandings of gender.


36 thoughts on “Can Muslim Women Marry Non-Muslims?: A Qur’anic Response

  1. Salaams,

    First and foremost Usul-fiqh and fiqh are probably one of my weaker areas of understanding so just something to note as a caveat.

    Second, there’s a lot mentioned in the article so I’m going to address things that I consider relevant. If I miss anything, my apologies.

    Third, really too lazy to cite anything properly so feel free to take what I say with a grain of salt.

    On to yer little blog post.
    A main point of your post argues about the aspect of Ijma’, especially how Ibn Ashur regards it as the main reason. Ignoring the fact that’s one scholar’s opinion and other scholars do not consider it based on ijma’, the point of ijma’ can be seen as a legal fiction. This is similar to a plea bargain. It is intuitive to realize that very rarely an ijma’ exists (I can’t think of any actual cases of ijma’ other than God is God and Muhammad is His messenger.) The argument of ijma’ showcases that “Hey, I got other authorities agreeing with me. This is an indication and emphasis that I’m on to something with my legal ruling.” Sooo when you take Ibn Ashur’s point to mean that there is no Asl (basis) in the Qur’an, it doesn’t reflect Ibn Ashur’s point.

    To reiterate, ijma’ is similar to a statement (unverifiable) made to establish a point. This is used a lot when it’s easier to showcase that other authorities came to a similar conclusion that to explain the contemplations of quran and hadith that led to a ruling (hence “prohibition is not Qur’anic or in the Qur’an. The prohibition is based instead on ijma’ (consensus) of historical scholars.”). I’ve seen ijma’ utilized in a way to dismiss arguments (which is unfortunate) but it shouldn’t stop you from digging deeper into the illah’s (reason of ruling) each individual scholar gives.

    The point regarding 2:221 is a good point. I’m not really interested in listening to Al-Maghrib lectures atm soooo I’m gonna be lazy and not cross reference.

    60:10. Arguments here seem a bit tricky since as you mention there is context. The situation reflected in these ayahs are more similar to what Shaykh KAEF dealt with in his letters you cited. That situation seems nuanced compared to the general call that the “Qur’an does not prohibit…”.
    Side Note: You say you’re quoting 60:10-11 but you only end up quoting 60:10.
    5:5. This is a good point you raised. And especially true since this Surah is one of the last surahs revealed. I believe Aisha remarked that nothing in this surah is abrogated (legally) due to how late it’s revelation was. Where I differ is the sentiment surrounding the fact that women are not prohibited. That is true. It is also true women are not explicitly given permission (I’ll conclude with elucidating this point since I believe it’s the most interesting point). The strength of the point about “The fact that the earlier part is commonly read as addressing ALL Muslims (men and women) but suddenly the audience changes with “muhsanaat.” in other words, if the word muhsanaat wasn’t there, we would assume it’s addressing everyone equally? Na, who’m I kidding.” is diminished since you can read the entire ayaat or read the ayaat in sentences. It is common for Quran commentators to do that. And the ayah here is really more like an essay. However, yer sarcasm aside this is a strong point to explore. I highly doubt classical scholars did not have this question raised up in their minds either (considering the plethora of scholars and each scholar’s dedication). It would be interesting how each major classical and major contemporary scholar treats that question,
    The aspect of chaste and free…I don’t really see how it’s relevant. From what I know (According to the Study Quran and the tafasirs of scholars cited in that book). The issue of chaste and freedom are time bound. An implication is that a “whore” can still be considered chaste if he/she repents.

    Side Note: Everything in the legal tradition is marketed as a monolith (except maybe where to place your hands in Salah…wait no that’s not true people found creative ways to show how Imam Abu Hanifah’s fatwa is really the same as current salafi imams’ fatwas.)

    Sexual Ethics and Islam…reference cost money soooo imma not read that. Overall, no comment about that section. Maybe that book answers yer sarcastic quesiton. Although, reading first hand sources would be important as well.
    Historical Justifications: Here is where I detract a lot. I read the arabic portion you referred too (i didn’t read the whole thing because my arabic reading skills are honestly not as strong as they could be.). In terms of slavery and marriage, scholars look marriage as a duality, especially the east asian scholars of akbarian thought (Tao of Islam is a good book for that ). Marriage includes having an intimate relationship that involves harmonizing your nature as yer iman grows. Surah Nisah has a verse (controversial too) indicating men’s degree over women. The creation of Adam (controversial too since this detail is biblical and apparently justifies women inferiority) where Muslim scholars showcase the degree of women over men. Women created from Man’s rib and the rib protects the heart. Thus, the women is the spiritual guardian of men. This is complemented by the ayah 187 of surah baqarah (They [women] clothe ya’ll [men] and ya’ll [men] clothe them [women].) Notice the women “clothing” comes first. Perhaps this is an emphasis on the importance of guarding the spirit. Ultimately, what matters is the relationship with Allah. Love and slavery are intertwined since God is undoubtedly transcendent yet also immanent (graspable in a sense we acknowledge God). The first ayah of Surah Kahf associated “Hamd” with God. Hamd is the ultimate praise that encapsulates all types of praise. When God then talks about the best of creation, whom he gives the best of names (Muhammad is a derivative of Hamd), He calls him Abd (Slave) – the best praise for God is parallel to the best praise for mankind. Love and slavery are intertwined. When yer spouse calls you upon God you humble yerself and let yerself in servitude because it ultimately is God’s command. When yer spouse asks for a favor the same logic applies (btw this goes both ways, I understand this argument has been used against women for purposes of control).

    Now as for the emphasis of daughters, I can see why. Form anecdotal experience men naturally know the destructive nature of man can be, especially when he projects his love of himself to a women – an experienced woman can understand the destructive nature of a man projecting his love for himself. It doesn’t help that statistically men are mainly the perpetrators of domestic violence and women are mainly the victims of domestic violence. Legally, ethics come from God and His Guidance. While ahl-kitab are people of God they are not guided. I can’t think of any respectable scholar that detracts from this sentiment (even perennialist scholars like Dr. Syed Hossain Nasr and classical scholars that these perennialist scholars draw upon have this understanding of Islamic supersession). In your blog you address that muslim men are just as misogynistic. Yes, I agree. Theory and practice are the same in theory, but not in practice. This is a limitation of legal theory. This is why general fatwas provide a domain not the code of how people should live. For example, divorce is part of legal code. But it is always sad to see a divorce occurring whether it’s due to lack of chemistry or something of darker undertones like abuse.

    contemporary explanations for this (un-Qur’anic and I insist imagined) prohibition. A lot of these reasonings seem to be the hukm not illah, therefore it’s irrelevant to the nature of the ruling. hukm can help you understand the ruling but it’s not the basis for a ruling. An example is alcohol. The hukm is the protection of the mind. If that was the basis then alcohol would be allowed up until it gets you drunk.

    In conclusion, based on your article it seems like the basis is not to marry anyone outside of Islam. And the allowance of men to marry women of ahl kitab is a Rukhsah (legal concession). I don’t know the science and art of Rukhsah too well so I can’t comment much. I’m not even sure if Rukhsah is the case (again figh isn’t my strong suite) but it is something you do not seem to address adequately. The aspect of “dominance in marriage” may be involved as to why is common amongst scholars to state such a rukhsah is only extended to males. Also, in terms of reasonings (illah), the evidence provided is not exhaustive enough (make sense since this is only a blog post not a dissertation). Other ayahs relevant are ayahs of surah ma’idah and other verses or marriage and divorce (surah talaq, the two pages of juz two dealing with this, the last two ayahs of surah tahrim etc.) I also think not enough consideration to various scholarly opinions were given. This three points are the reason why I do not find this blog post adequately compelling. However, it does bring exigency to the issue no doubt. Let me know what you think.


    • Yeah, this isn’t about your opinions and anecdotes. (And the anecdotes I’d give are totally different from your ones, so what’s your point?) Prohibitions can’t be rooted in a man’s personal opinions – though ALL of the gendered ones are totally based on men’s opinions and personal preferences. Not here for another man’s opinion, bye.


  2. Some scholars say its forbidden for muslim women to marry people of the book because of conflict of interest, we want our children to be Muslim, nit jew ir Christian,


  3. Pingback: why Muslim men feel offended and threatened by Muslim women’s interfaith marriage | Freedom from the Forbidden

  4. Thank you for this post and the efforts you put in it. This is something I really needed to read.

    I converted to Islam for about 1,5. I followed lectures online and went to many mosques to ask for advice about my situation. I thought I was doing it the right way, since I did not have knowledge about Islam. I have been together with my Christian husband for about 9 years. Literally every imam at the mosques and the ones online have told me that I MUST divorce my husband. I love my husband so dearly and it would hurt me so deeply to divorce my husband because I became Muslima.. Many scholars have made me doubt Islam. Not only because of this subject, but also when it comes to polygamy, beating the wife, slavery.. I thought, huh? I can never believe that God wants something like this for me.. yet they all made me feel like my feelings are nothing for God. That God does not care about my feelings. It’s all about rules rules rules. I already felt so down and then the subject ”hooris” was also touched. They told my I would never have a husband for myself, so I can divorce my husband anyway because he goes to hell and if I would marry a Muslim man I wouldn’t have him for myself in Paradise either. They told me marriage is not for my ”joy”, so I shouldn’t be sad to divorce because I don’t ”own” no man and the hooris are waiting for the men in Paradise.

    I even got a list from scholars with steps to follow. I don’t remember all the details, but it was like: Refuse sex with him for 3 months and try to make him a Muslim. If he becomes a Muslim you can remain married to him, but if he does not become a Muslim, you must divorce him because he is forbidden for you. They said according to the four main schools of jurisprudence it is forbidden for a convert to remain married to a Christian husband.

    Anyway, I still got a lot to learn about Islam. I went through your list of recommended books and I got myself a few to read. I feel I have been brainwashed lately with Islam by those scholars. That’s how I feel about it. Most advised me to take a look at if I have questions, and I felt so…. I don’t even have words for it. I felt God truly hated me as a woman and that I was created only for the purpose of pleasing a man. As if I don’t matter…. (I even read a post there that says rape in marriage doesn’t exist and that this is something from the West!)


    • Rosa, thank you for sharing your experience with this totally illegitimate claim of prohibition. People don’t realize we’re dealing with real issues here, so we must be careful declaring something as haraam so easily. Many scholars have now accepted that female converts don’t have to leave their non-Muslim husbands, so that should tell us how subjective & frankly arbitrary this all is. I have learned to be very careful abt whose teachings of Islam I trust, and it’s heartbreaking that the more popular & followed teachers of Islam aren’t in touch with the reality, or updated realities, of the issues they address. These “celebrity sheikhs” are actually pretty harmful to especially those new to Islam but also to those born to Muslim families.

      And! Oh my goodness. That website is dangerous! Truly dangerous. Even many conservative Muslims avoid it because islamqa offers & promotes a horrible vision of Islam. For them, like you said, marital rape isn’t real. They also prologue female circumcision, saying it’s obligatory (apparently it cures a sensitive clit!!), women are totally irrelevant except for the pleasures of men, non Muslims are to not be friended cuz Muslims are superior, and so on. It’s a scary and very un-Islamic message they’re sending everyone.

      Please feel free to stay in touch & request resources. My email add is

      Sending you all good thoughts and wishes!


    • Those people who said to you divorce your husband because he is going to hell, ask them do they have guarantees themselves to go to paradise? The prophet’s daughter Zaynab married an idolator called abu as. And the prophet happily gave his daughter to the man she loved. It’s a matter of fact Abu as not only he was an idolator (someone who worshipped idols) but he was captured in a combat fighting the Muslims in the battle of ‘Bedr’. He was brought to the prophet and he freed him and didn’t ask to divorce his daughter. So, sister please don’t ask advice these ignorant people, Islam is bigger than the prejudice and culture of some Arab or Pakistani men. Islam is for all humanity, men and women and is a mercy to the mankind. These people who advised you to divorce your husband they are contrary to the teaching of Islam. Please continue loving your husband, keep the kindness you were to him. I believe your husband may be close to Islam than those who claimed he is on his way to hell. Most population on earth are Muslims even if they call themselves other names, because Islam is worshipping Allah in the TEN commandments that are in the Qur’an things like; don’t associate anything with God, be kind to your parents, don’t lie under oath, don’t kill someone, do just…. and so on.


    • Oh, look – there’s a random person on the internet who’s offended that someone’s challenging his strong hold of a tradition that’s got no Qur’anic basis *despite the Qur’an telling us we can’t follow something just because our “forefathers” did it*. #icantdealwiththispatriarchy #nextplease

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: actually, Islam DOES allow women to lead mixed-gender prayers. | Freedom from the Forbidden

  6. One of the most Idiotic article I have ever read for very long, So the 4 Foqaha’a have agreed upon this matter that women CAN’T marry a Non-Muslim, And you Albert Einistian came saying no they can. Most Likely you are one of what so called Feminist women. AND As you wrote above “Freedom from the Forbidden” so this is all about.


  7. You are very beautiful and intelligent woman. I like reading your posts and fan of you but this Muslim woman or even man marrying non Muslim is very confusing for me. My understanding is that Shirk or associating partners with God/Allah is unforgivable Sin and Islam dont allow Musli man or woman to Marry with Mushrik man or woman. Jews say: ‘Uzair (Ezra) is the son of Allaah, and the Christians say: Messiah is the son of Allaah. Quran say

    31. They (Jews and Christians) took their rabbis and their monks to be their lords besides Allaah (by obeying them in things which they made lawful or unlawful according to their own desires without being ordered by Allaah), and (they also took as their Lord) Messiah, son of Maryam (Mary), while they (Jews and Christians) were commanded [in the Tawraat (Torah) and the Injeel (Gospel)] to worship none but One Ilaah (God — Allaah) Laa ilaaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He). Praise and glory be to Him (far above is He) from having the partners they associate (with Him)”

    [al-Tawbah 9:30, 31]

    so my question is when we say Islam allow Muslim man or woman to marry with people of people then we are saying that Islam allow Muslim man or woman to those who associate partners with God?


  8. It’s very unfortunate that the love towards Allah is decided by the whether a muslim women marrying a mualim men only ,if she marries a non muslim she will be considered as adultress this is very hurting what to do if everyone says that the women is adultress and will send to the hell 😦 Allah should not judge us or the world just marrying a non muslim will not stop the love for allah nor the fard we are supposed to do in islam and following the sunnah please help 😦


  9. Reblogged this on and commented:
    “But basically, the prohibition has no grounding in the Qur’an but in questionable cultural/historical assumptions that most Muslims don’t even accept today (like male superiority). It reflects only the (all-male) scholars’ own opinions and preferences instead, and aren’t we always being told that Islam isn’t about our personal whims? It’s therefore not a theological or divine edict and more a cultural idea that made its way into the Islamic legal and exegetical traditions and continues to impact Muslim women’s lives today. ”

    I believe that Islam is good and it brings peace to my well-being despite my lack of being ‘religious’. I’ve found a guy who is not born in the Islamic faith but I see Islam in him. From then on, I began to wonder that we have no labels and the Quran just states that everyone who does good and believes in God are Muslims. I began to believe that everyone are Muslims despite calling themselves within religious labels. I believe that Muslims are those who believe and seek goodness upon recognizing their own sins. Those who seek goodness and enlightenment, those who spread love and compassion, and basically the wholeness of what God really is.


    • Nothing “you believe” matters when it goes against islam. You cannot “see the islam in someone” if they aren’t muslim. Right now you are trying to justify your haram relationship with a kaffir man and that is truly sad sister. It is haram end of story. If you want true guidance talk to people who have spent their lives dedicated to Aqidah and studying the deen. Not some random blogger lady who is trying to twist islam in order to fit in with western secular desires. It is haram for a muslim woman to be with a nonmuslim man. There is no debate. The people of the book the Quran was referring to are no longer around today. Why would you want to be with a man who thinks Allah is not he one true God and also thinks Prophet Mohammed PBUH is a liar. By default if the man you are with is not muslim he does not believe in Tawheed and doesn’t believe what our prophet said meaning he believes the prophet is not speaking the truth AKA he thinks he’s lying. Theres no way to sugar coat this. Its haram end of story. Please leave this man or at least keep a halal distance from him until he converts if you truly even have any respect and love for Allah and our prophet left.


    • Hi, Nabila! Thanks for your comment. It’s weird and creepy to me that you’re so personally invested in my relationship, but … I do require that before you make any claims about the Qur’an or God, you must prove it with evidence. Cite your sources, just like I’ve done here, thanks.


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  11. Pingback: Script: A Discussion of Kecia Ali’s Sexual Ethics & Islam – Intro and Ch. 1: Marriage, Money, Sex | What the Patriarchy?! – Freedom from the Forbidden

  12. If the muslim men around the world followed the sunnah of our Prophet and treated women the way Allah has commanded them in the Quran, then Muslim women would not need or seek out to marry people from the book. It is because of these men who do not treat Muslim women with respect, those who do not communicate with their wives and treat them gently those who do not spend on their wives, those who abuse their power etc etc etc it is because of you that Muslim women search for the love of a non believer!


  13. This is one of the most dangerous and jarring conceptions of the Quran I’ve ever seen. The fact that a lay woman with no usooli training (proven by the way you described the interpretation of rulings from the Quran) are treating permissible what God made haram is alarming. Call it patriarchy or whatever you want to, you have to stay in your lane when it comes to fiqhi discussions from the Quran unless you have a degree in at leasttt Arabic to be able to come close to making claims. And with that degree, you’d only be able to make a linguistic argument though it wouldn’t stand strong because of the arabic of the verses but how would anyone know who doesn’t study arabic (I don’t mean speak, but I mean actually study since colloquial arabic is so different than classical). I know individuals who are PhD levels in fiqh, ijtihad, tafseer and arabic who would not even come close to trying to make claims the way you did because of their khashiya of Allah. Go find someone to have this discussion with. Otherwise, you’re leading people to normalize a sin so destructive, not to just the person, but to the ummah. If you don’t understand where that comes in, it is again demonstrating a lack of knowledge on basics of islamic fundamentals of scholarship regarding maqasid.

    Here’s what is alarming about your interpretations, you are following the very same path of colonizers and orientalists by making up your own logic when you have no expertise in this matter.

    One, you very obviously don’t know anything about asbaab anuzool or tareekh in Quran. This is exemplified by the way you list verses out and try to describe their meaning, connect their meanings to each other and then your commentary on silence and prohibition.

    Two: “All these scholars were men” again demonstrates your incessant lack of regard for truth… Female scholars existed, wrote exemplary works, especially in fiqh, had their own minds and some of our most prominent male scholars were students of female scholars. So factually incorrect but it’s easy to lie when it fits your narrative. This is pretty patriarchal in and of itself that you disregarded female scholars in this whole argument of yours. But what can one expect when you are not trained in this area of knowledge, you don’t know where to look. It’s like a lay person trying to read clinical trial studies and labs, not possible. Interestingly enough, the scholars I had the honor of learning about this specific subject from were both women.

    Three: If you actually did just a very basic preliminary level of research in studying the issue, you’d know that many scholars of fiqh and tareekh believe the allowance of men to marry people of the book was strictly for a period of time given the advent of Islam was still occurring and no longer applies today for 2 reasons, 1) it is no longer advantageous for the safety of the community. And 2) what qualifies as “of the book” no longer exists in today’s world. Going to church does not equal of the book. Being jewish does not equal being “people of the book”. So really, unless you find a Christian or Jew who follows the same rulings of Christianity from 1400+ years ago including minding the sabath, fasting, prayer and avoiding pork, they are not people of the book. This is the scholarly opinion I adopt and I think it handles your concerns pretty well. The closest to people of the book are the extremely orthodox jews who live in Israel lol but unless you’re into the massacre of Palestinians (I know you’re not), that knocks out an entire population. And the Christians who would be consider of the book in current times are very small communities but tend to be extremely patriarchal in their practice and culture due to their need to maintain their community as tight nit as they did, so they certainly would not be of interest to Muslim women who are so fed up with patriarchy.

    Realize that what you are doing is putting women into a situation where they essentially engage in zinnah, because there is no valid nikkah contract between a Muslim woman and a non-Muslim man, it does not exist. On a very practical note, why any Muslim woman or man would want to create a lifelong intimate bond with someone who commits shirk is beyond me. I understand that not all Muslims are great and that there are abusive Muslim men who are horrendous and have gotten away with their abuse through the manipulation of Islamic text. That doesn’t mean that we return their manipulation with further manipulation. What you did and do in this entire blog is the Islamic scholarship version of mansplaining, but you’re calling for #destroyingthepatriarchy.
    I would highly advise you adopt some humility, ask God for guidance, and revamp your understanding starting with a veryyy basic usool ulfiqh course. If you’ve taken one, maybe try taking another because the first one didn’t go so well. To the trained and studied eye (and I don’t claim to be learned, but I have very basic training), there are so many red flags in your explanations. There is a required level of adab, part of that being humility, required to enter the scholarly field. This is not to say all scholars have adopted this adab, but there is something to the fact that many people we call “scholars” are not scholars. They have a certain level of education but aren’t always scholars, ie not all imams are scholars, not all sheyook are scholars. That humility is due to the fact that these scholars KNOW that their misguidance of people and their lack of due diligence will come back to testify against them on the Day of Judgment. My friend, and I say this sincerely because I am truly alarmed, but in the end, God makes the call. You are not ready to accept the responsibility of women accidentally engaging in zinnah with their non-muslim “husbands” because your post pushed them to it. You’re not ready to accept the sin of other non-learned muslim women trying to make claims of the quran using nothing more than a translation because they actually can’t understand arabic to defy not 1400+ years of scholarship but even going to the times of Ibrahim alayh asalam. I am a woman just like you, I’m also affected by patriarchal structures, I have had to deal with several abuses from men in the name of “islam”, sexual abuse and beyond. I have dedicated much of my work to young girls and women and left my work with men to address the need for empowerment of our girls. And, despite all this, I am a clinician who sees patients regularly and prioritizes her female patients when their complaints would otherwise be dismissed as “dramatic.” But my hurt, my trauma, my pain will never allow me to overstep boundaries, to enter fisaaq and manipulate or even TRY to explain the Quran when I am not trained in that. Over 1,000 years of work is not for me to try to femalesplain my way into, I fear God way too much to ever take that on.

    I’m always reminded of Sayid Abdullah ibn Abbas, who was factually a scholar of the prophet’s time and the Prophet’s relative. He was trained in fiqh among other disciplines and was regularly consulted by the prophet SAW because of how knowledgable he was. Not only that, he was one of the few individuals essentially “certified” to teach quran. Despite these accalades and spending more time with the prophet SAW himself than most sahaba could have hoped to, he was terrified to make claims about the Quran. We’re talking a man who was an expert in memorization, arabic, one of the biggest narrated of the most authenticated ahadith that are so strong, they’re used across varying sects of islam (very few sahaba can have this claim), and an expert in fiqh. He narrated the following hadith:

    Ibn Abbas reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever speaks on the Quran without knowledge, let him take his seat in Hellfire.” Sunan al-Tirmidhī

    عَنْ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمَا قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ مَنْ قَالَ فِي الْقُرْآنِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ فَلْيَتَبَوَّأْ مَقْعَدَهُ مِنْ النَّارِ

    What do you think he, lest the Prophet SAW would have to say about your work? I can confidently guarantee that it would definitely not be applauded, even if it were close to being “right.” The Prophet was very careful about non-experts making claims or calls on things they were not learned in, he called out many companions for this. Don’t be that person.

    Perhaps the most telling thing about how tainted the minds are by your work is the fact that people are validating their thoughts as fact by saying “I believe xyz.” What God validates as truth or falsehood isn’t contingent on what I or you “believe”. It is because it is and through the efforts and methodologies set forth by the Prophet SAW, we have been able to learn such truths and either we take them or we ikfur alayhum. Islam isn’t strictly about what is in the heart, actions must follow equally, this is the most basic understanding of one of the most commonly repeated verses in the Quran (since you are an expert in quran, I’m sure you know which one I’m talking about ;)). Also validated in many authenticated ahadith. A kaffir can be the sweetest most amazing kind hearted individual with very Islamic-like tendencies in their character. They still reject the fundamental principal of Islam aka tawheed. A muslim can be the most learned, well-acquainted academically with Quran, hadith, aqeeda, tafsir and other disciplines but still be an oppressor. And they are hated by Allah at once. Two things can be true at once. It is true that it is a huge sin that a Muslim woman marries a non-Muslim man. And it is a huge sin that there are Muslim men who harm women especially when married to one. And the solution is simple, if a Muslim woman is concerned for a partnership with a Muslim man, then she just doesn’t get married. Sometimes that’s the sacrifice. Islam doesn’t exist to serve us or give us what we want. If the seerah of the prophet teaches anything, it is exactly that.
    In the end, forgive me for my harshness, I don’t even care if the comment gets posted and I certainly hope you don’t take naseeha as bigotry. I have a responsibility to advise you so at least someone can stand on the Day of Judgment and say they tried. And whatever you do, you’re responsible for and God and the Prophet SAW aren’t fools. You can find a scholarly opinion on anything and everything, that doesn’t make it right. There are principles on such matters, especially ones that have both personal, communal and generational implications like marriage. The prophet went through this very same situation with his daughter and it is well documented in several authenticated historical accounts in Islamic history of what was done. She was not allowed to reunite until he converted, which he initially refused. But not even the Prophet’s daughter is exempt from Allah’s law. Anyone who tries to manipulate the story is fighting with very strongly validated works of history. So much more can be written on this topic at large. But I’ll end with this, my favorite quote, I forget which scholar said this but I carry it with me:

    “There is knowledge in three things. The Quran. The Sunnah. And ‘I don’t know.'”


    • Hey, salaam! Thanks for your comment. I can’t take it seriously cuz it makes WAY too many assumptions (that are actually false), is extremely arrogant, and doenst actually engage the arguments I make in the post. Please don’t ever confuse naseehah with arrogance again.

      Lemme know when you’ve actually read through the article and have something useful to counter with.

      Oh!! And given that religious authority is part of my speciality, I think you’ll find this article of mine insightful and helpful too:


    • Such a perfect rebuttal. But of course she deflects by disregarding it entirely. The arrogance of this woman to try and justify zinah with kuffar is so sad. It’s haram end of story. As you stated People of the Book in the Quran no longer exist in the modern age. Plenty of chapters and verses are only meant for specific time periods. Like Chapter 9 in regards to war for example. Imagine encouraging women to be with men who A.) think Allah is not the one true God and B.) Think the prophet Mohammed is a fraud and liar (that is what both jews and christians believe). And even Muslim men should not be with kafir women either. That was only for s specific time. The way these toxic reformers want to dilute our faith truly is a shame. ay Allah cure Orbala’s ignorance and cognitive dissonance before it too late.


    • How do you know that the Quran is talking about a different kind of kuffar? How do you know that those verses were for “a different” time? Are you saying the Qur’an isn’t for all people and all times? Astaghfirullah ❤


  14. Wow love this, happy I came across your page because I came up with the same discovery last week! that the Quran doesn’t actually forbid women marrying people of the book. Insh’Allah this means we can.


  15. Pingback: Seeking participants for a study on Muslim women’s marriage to non-Muslims – Freedom from the Forbidden

  16. Not sure, who is the author of this article. I just came across it and read pieces of it and I loved this article. It is very well written.

    A little introduction about myself. By the grace of God, I am a Muslim woman married to a Muslim man and mother of three sons by the grace of God. I live in United States, and I am working as an IT Program Manager. There are so many Myths that no one including scholars have ever thought about or probably they don’t want to think and correct those Myths rather so called scholars (Mullahs) try to support false claims to justify their own wrong actions. Never had I read an Ayat in Quran that clearly forbids Muslim women marrying Non-Muslim men (Christians and Jews) and likewise nor have I seen a Hadith that states against such marriages. I have rarely found any literature that has summarized this topic so concisely. I request the author to schedule a meeting (via Zoom or Skype) with me. I also want to write about this and multiple other topics, but as of now I don’t have a blog or website. I will be happy to discuss some ideas that I have on collaboration. I have listed my email address below. Very good effort by author. May God bless you!


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